Let’s All Get A Life

In hopes that the "Jennifer Wilbanks Story" will quickly recede, I offer the following advice:

To John Mason, the groom-to-almost-be: Get a life, John. Second, count your lucky stars. You could half excuse this sort of stunt from an 18-yr-old child bride being handed off from some oppressive home-church partnership into your overbearing hands. This chick’s 32, and any 32-yr-old who can cause so much carnage over getting cold feet can do just about anything. Run away, John. Don’t be so pathetic.

To "The Authorities:" Get a life. Also: Go Fuck Yourselves. It was you who were ejaculating all over the cameras in dire hopes that this would be another high-profile who-done-it murder investigation, with all the attendant press-conferences and cameras and attention. It was you with your whores in the entertainment industry "news" media that pumped this whole thing up. Unless she was under some continuing physical abuse, or threat of same, which seems quite unlikely, the bride-to-almost-be is simply a stupid dimwit. Knock off the ridiculous talk of a "criminal investigation" (you fuck-wads) and the talk of suing what’s her face for the "costs of searching." She didn’t force you to be such idiots. She didn’t force you to to make fools of yourselves jumping to every conclusion except the correct one.

What a carnival of fools, all around.

Update: Kyle Bennett suggests how a mature and rational society might deal with a Jennifer Wilbanks.

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  1. There is an argument that she committed a fraud in basically requesting help from law enforcement and/or her friends, neighbors, etc. It's thin, and it gets into all the ultimately meaningless minutia about the proper role of law enforcement in this kind of thing, but in the current context, it's not entirely dismissable.

    You're right on about everything else. If this marriage goes through, that guy is an even bigger loser than she is. Can't wait to see how the kids turn out.

  2. Bianca says:

    Yeah, but we don't know anything about the groom to be. Maybe this was the best he could do, and had to settle for a crackpot bride.

  3. LMFAO! What a GREAT ARTICLE! Tears are still running down my face as I write this! Love it!

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