“Denise Minger” is Made Out of Meat

You remember, don't you?

It was a little over a year ago when I got an email from someone claiming to be a certain "Denise Minger." I blogged about it, you other bloggers then blogged about it and well, and suddenly, The China Study was called into serious question.

I came across your blog searching for critiques of the China Study, and read (with great amusement) the giant thread on Amazon where Campbell made some appearances.

Back in May I tracked down a copy of the original China Study data, and I've spent a great deal of time analyzing the correlations and crunching numbers. Mainly I focused on seeing whether animal foods were as closely linked to disease as Campbell insinuated. Of course, they aren't. Not by a long shot. ...

Likely story, by meat. I'll explain...

See, even though it all seemed quite scholarly to all of us, the vegan defenders of the esteemed T. Colin Campbell saw right through it immediately, because as I now realize, they are quite in with the nefarious motives of...meat. Nothing gets by them when it comes to meat. But not entirely, nor exactly; they've only just scratched the surface. By luck & chance -- or meatless nutrition -- apparently, they sniffed out an essential or two and happened to stumble on the likely right track. I think I've run it all the way down, but will save that for later.

Right away they suggested, surmised and finally, after careful analysis, asserted that "Denise Minger" is not a real person, but a fictitious entity created by the beef & dairy industry to discredit Campbell and his research. This even persisted to the point of my debate with Harley " 30 Bananas a Day" Johnstone where he unabashedly questioned whether "Denise Minger" was actually a real person.

It seemed absurd at the time, but I've noted that in all the emails I've exchanged with "Denise" over the last year, there's always this curious lag in response time. I began to wonder if I was being fooled. Hell, even my friend Mark Sisson appears to have been taken in.

I am pleased to announce that I will be publishing "Denise Minger’s" new book Death by Food Pyramid around the middle of 2012. We are both wildly excited about this project which will not only call on Denise’s unique set of analytical skills in destroying many of the “landmark” studies that CW hangs it’s hat on, but will trace the bizarre history behind the faulty US public policy-making regarding diet and health, and she’ll actually teach the reader how to take just about any study and critically review it from a layman’s perspective. [quotation marks, added - Ed]

Ha, just goes to show how seductive meat can be. Looks like it even got to Mark Sisson. Don't be fooled!

I have to admit that I was almost taken in entirely. While I eat meat regularly, I had no idea it could be so nefariously seductive and not just on the olfactory senses, but even conceptually. That's right, I think meat talks to us. It makes arguments. "Denise Minger," after a 2 month meat hibernation, appears to be at it again.

So my dear readers, hecklers, and spambots, I present to you a collection of peer-reviewed papers based on the China Study data that contradict or conflict with Campbell’s interpretation in his book, “The China Study.” Some studies you may have seen before; others will be new. Regardless, you can rest assured that these papers—some co-authored by Campbell himself—are by folks generally considered qualified in their field, and that, contrary to the “animal foods are harmful and cholesterol is associated with all Western diseases” message we received in “The China Study,”* other perspectives of the data abound.

Here's to dodging a bullet. I won't be fooled again.

See how helpless we are against meat? And who could even know, or be certain? Is T. Colin Campbell actually a counter-meat -- i.e., merely just another squishy organism made of meat, by meat, designed for the sole purpose of calling other meat into question so that still other meat can have an easy time of assuaging our fears and trepidations? An ecosystem by the meat, for the meat? Is that what we're reduced to? Is that all there is?

You be the judge. You decide. Fair & balanced!

I was quite prepared to be a lifelong victim of meat. I was. I'm ashamed, but I can hardly even manage walking past a BBQ without experiencing a life changing moment, no matter how fleeting. Wanna see a guy get down on bended knee, repent for anything and everything that could ever or possibly have been -- in thought, word or deed -- even mildly contrived to have been counter to the supremacy of meat? That's me.

But to whom do I confess my sins and repent? To meat? Is there anything left?

It's a morass of confusion and I'll tell you straight up: I can't find anything worth confessing to that's not suspiciously not also made out of meat. I found this. Clearly, thankfully, there are still some sentient beings in the universe who, far from having been fully corrupted by meat, seem actually surprised that meat has gained such a strong foothold in this quadrant of the galaxy.

"They're made out of meat."

"Meat?"

"Meat. They're made out of meat."

"Meat?"

"There's no doubt about it. We picked several from different parts of the planet, took them aboard our recon vessels, probed them all the way through. They're completely meat."

"That's impossible. What about the radio signals? The messages to the stars."

"They use the radio waves to talk, but the signals don't come from them. The signals come from machines."

"So who made the machines? That's who we want to contact."

"They made the machines. That's what I'm trying to tell you. Meat made the machines."

"That's ridiculous. How can meat make a machine? You're asking me to believe in sentient meat."

"I'm not asking you, I'm telling you. These creatures are the only sentient race in the sector and they're made out of meat." [...]

"They actually do talk, then. They use words, ideas, concepts?"

"Oh, yes. Except they do it with meat."

"I thought you just told me they used radio."

"They do, but what do you think is on the radio? Meat sounds. You know how when you slap or flap meat it makes a noise? They talk by flapping their meat at each other. They can even sing by squirting air through their meat."

Read the rest, if you dare, or, see this on YouTube which is substantially more shocking. But, if you're compelled to know just how deep the rabbit hole goes and want to to help, shocking doesn't even begin to describe it.

The rest of the news is that "Denise Minger" suddenly, without warning, will be at the upcoming Ancestral Health Symposium, speaking opposite Sisson. I'm quite certain Sisson engineered this, likely with his friend Aaron Blaisdell and/or Brent Pottenger, chief co-organizers of the event.

That's right: meat may have gotten to Mark, Aaron and Brent.

At this point I suspect it's a lost cause. All my research has led me to the conclusion that there is no antidote, once you have come under the spell of meat. And all that "probing all the way through" is gonna do for you is to just confirm that it's just as I say: "Denise Minger" is made out of meat.

Humbly reporting from San Jose, California.

Comments

  1. Awesome. I was wondering if you were taking it into that short story slant. I love Bears Discover Fire. Love the angle.

    Denise Minger is using meat to think. There is no way she can put a cohrent thought together if she is using meat.

  2. Thank Jebus you’re looking out for us, Richard. Without you, we’d all be prey (ha!) to damn meat-spawned apparitions like “Denise Minger” and their scheming schemes! And of course Mark Sisson got taken in by the ruse. Didn’t you hear? He’s been messing with illegal bull DNA splicing techniques and shooting up rhinoceros testosterone. Such treatments have no doubt addled his brain. I read it on the internets, therefore it’s true.

  3. You do know that Denise Minger is simply an chimeric anagram for “Redeeming Sin” and that she was sent here by God (by gawd) to test us all.

  4. Justin Ross says:

    I love the “made of meat” short story. Always one of my favorites. :)

  5. “Denise Minger” is made out of meat? Yes, indeed. Indeed. Indeed. :P

  6. Whew! Thankfully astute observers like yourself are on hand to make sure we don’t get led down the path of iniquity by a bunch of meat! Hilarious!!

  7. I am glad you have figured this out, Richard. The insidious deception inherent in a meaty existence is clearly the most potently of cognitive biases, it is a bias build into the very fabric of all we are, our meat lump, also known as the brain. Much of the animal kingdom doesn’t even know about their meatiness, being covered with fur to obscure it. I have been in the know for a few months now. Whilst fleeing a forest fire the hair on my behind was set aflame. Upon inspection I discovered the truth about my meatiness and was astonished. Now you have put it into context and I thank you.

    All of that time reading the nutrition literature, all of the skepticism and criticism I have levied at the claims of vegan authors, all of the conclusions I have come to, could they possibly be a lie? A delusion? I dare not look yet, I need to let it all sink in and regain my objectivity. I can’t tell if Denise is telling the truth, I can’t even tell if she is real. And that Mark Sisson. how I trusted him! Just look at his chest meat! It is like it has a mind of its own, and this is the guy who convinced me to challenge my belief in the virtues of a plant-based diet. How can I know that Anthony Colpo is even in the same mental reality as the rest of us, his criticisms of The China Study, likely born of the meaty behemoth that is his body, twisting logic and perception to the point of delusion?!

    But Dr. Cambell on the other hand, he has the least meat of them all. Just look, there is barely any meat to speak of! http://images.agoramedia.com/dietdetective/cms/dr-t-colin-campbell-lrg.jpg

    I now know that if I am to find answers, it will be in those who are gradually and persistently shedding their meatiness…. low fat vegans.

    These will be trying times, but I am glad that I may have a shot at the truth.

    • If they keep it up long enough, maybe they’ll lose enough higher function to be considered vegetables.

  8. Har!

  9. but you just told they use a massive network of fiber optics to communicate instantly , with complex symbols . that’s who we want to contact. What arranges the symbols in a cohesive pattern? like I told you , meat.

    We are so much more than “meat” or maybe meat is much more than the concept of meat either way I love Terry Bisson’s writing. I originally was drawn to this story in my gulp.. vegetarian days.

  10. Back when I believed in God, we never really had much face time. Now, I “meet” my maker every day at the dinner table.

  11. Ronald Pottol says:

    You could link directly to Terry Bisson’s (the author) copy on his web site http://www.terrybisson.com/page6/page6.html

  12. Lute Nikoley says:

    Meat head, meat balls, meat …… Take your pick.

  13. Yep, Richard, you found me out. I’m a meat head. But I do see one gaping hole in your conspiracy theory. If Denise Minger is made out of meat, then how was she able to publish a new blog post on “Meatless Monday”? That proves that she’s real!

  14. Soylent Green is People!!!!!!!!! Ha ha ha that meat sure is crafty! See you at AHS!

  15. So I guess the Ancestral Health Symposium thing is a whole new twist on the idea of “meat up.”

  16. If I am made of meat, and meat is murder, does it not follow that I am murder?

  17. Baloney. I’ll believe it when I meat her.

  18. michaelf says:

    Love the post Richard. Its probably far too witty for anyone with an atrophied brain though.

  19. I’m not sure about Colon Campbell, but I’m convinced Michael Jacobson is an evil cyborg.

    August 4th 1997, Vegenet went online. It became self-aware at 2:14 am Eastern Time on August 29th, 1997. Then they began The China Study…

  20. Branch Warren says:

    Fuckin meat. I knew it.

  21. Tried to send this via email but the “m” address didn’t work for me. Good for a laugh. I am certain that an analogous paleo site would be much easier on the eyes.
    http://nakedvegancooking.com/

  22. Denise must be one of Lady Gaga’s outfits. :)

    Her latest meaty post was great!

  23. what the fuck is this site? says:

    you people suck. all of you. question tho, how much do you all enjoy each others semen?

    I doubt any of you could kill and eat a lion without a gun. A lion could eat any of you, any day of the week and I would LOVE to see it happen.

    • If you were to create the set of all people that a lion could eat, it would likely contain any of the commenters as a subset, lets call this A. It would also most certainly contain the element B that states that subset A sucks and is perversely concerned with the enjoyment of semen. I can only assume that element B has tried semen and wanted to inquire if set A had done the same and if so had set A enjoyed it. Am I correct?

    • Hey Trolling 72.208.112.10

      “I doubt any of you could kill and eat a lion without a gun. A lion could eat any of you, any day of the week and I would LOVE to see it happen.”

      Interesting. And yet, lions didn’t invent guns, or knives, which is to say, animals evolved with different weapon skill sets. Plants can’t move, so they use chemicals. Big cats have the the most impressive set of tooth, claw and explosive speed on the planet and it’s truly beautiful in its grace of adaptation.

      Frank Forcenich of Exuberant Animal http://www.exuberantanimal.com/index.php) put on an excellent presentation of Deep Evolution at AHS about how we were likely cat food for a very long time. But the rub is that over millions of years, we were also able to scavenge cat kills. See, cats can’t get into the bone marrow of the large bones or fat brains in the skulls, both rich in fats. But a tool maker with the ability to fashion clubs and use stones can.

      Vegetarians are so fucking ignorant. All I ever see from them is this sort of argument and have never, ever seen them integrate the real issue: our chief weapon is our _mind_. We don’t need claw and tooth. A mind is infinitely more powerful and just look the fuck around, moron. Moron.

      Jesus already. Go away, you stupid, stupid fuck.

  24. Nutrition is most nearly a religion. You have your paleo groups and your “vegetarian” and you vegan…then your atheists that eat the majority of crap available. Each side continually fights with each other claiming research that is “disproven” by further research. It is a never ending cycle that will never end like religion.

  25. Denis Minger debunked?
    http://tinyurl.com/3bkmf7y

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