Human Animals Eating Animals #AHS11

It seems to me that hands down, the most heralded eating experience of the whole #AHS11 affair was Animal Restaurant. Everyone who was anyone gave it a shot. We went on Friday night. Skyler made the reservations a week or so in advance.

Ham
Ham (get it?)

Enough of fucking Skyler, for now. Let's get to the food. Animal has a menu that changes, but here's a good sampling. Since it's tapas style (which I love), we decided it would be best to divide off into the four couples present. Beatrice and I had six plates. From memory: quail, crispy pig ears & egg, bone marrow with chimichurri, foie grass on a biscuit & gravy, halibut, and the best of all: veal brain. I only managed a few pics because I was too busy indulging and shouting expletives at the guy sitting next to me (guess).

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Crispy Pig Ears, Lime, and an Egg
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Quail Bits (yummy; an uncle and I once killed a few dozen quail in a single blow; yummy too)
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The Bone Marrow with Chimichurri
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Veal Brain, potentially everyone's favorite (cinnamon spiced, texture of pork belly)
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Flank Steak with some Funky Sauce (guy sitting next to me I was shouting at)

But enough of my crappy iPhone pics. M, of NomNom Paleo does a complete and pro photography treatment, and I do mean complete, and pro. Don't be a fucking idiot by not clicking over. Full Stop. Click. Come back, because you have yet to hear the story of the shouting match. OK, I'll steal one, the foie gras biscuit and gravy, my second fav after the veal brain.

foie gras 1
Fatty Goose Liver

Really, it's a toss up between that one and the brain.

Before I forget, no, this was not anywhere close to gluten free, in spite of no bread basket...and I think someone mentioned they use peanut oil. ...And they politely refuse any mods, according to something else I saw, somewhere. You know what? Don't even get started with me if you want to -- as in the words of Sarah, husband of the loud mouth -- "kick me off Paleo Island." When you can get exotic food like this, in a setting like this, with friends like this (except for the loud mouth), then you throw caution to the wind and you go for that chocolate dessert with bacon it it, too.

That's what I say. Just don't do it more than 4-5 times per week.

Skyler is such an asshole, and between you and I, I think his wife Sarah agrees.

SKYLER: SO WHAT THE FUCK, MAN?

ME: WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH THAT COLD WATER DEAL, PUSSY.

SKYLER: BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA

ME. BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA

SKYLER: FUCKIN' A

ME: NO SHIT

Sarah: Skyler, you're talking too loud.

Bea: Rich, you're talking too loud.

ME: SO WHAT THE FUCK, MAN?

SKYLER: NO SHIT. BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA

ME: HEH, BLA BLA BLA BLA. FUCK YEA, YOU GOT THAT RIGHT.

SKYLER: SHIT

ME: FUCK

Sarah: Skyler, you're talking too loud.

Bea: Rich, you're talking too loud.

ME: TALKING TOO LOUD = CURB YOUR ENTHUSUIASM

SKYLER: FUCKIN' A, MAN.

Sarah: Skyler, you're talking too loud.

Bea: Rich, you're talking too loud.

SKYLER: BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA

RICH: BLA BLA. Here, you handle the check.

Animals
Animals at Animal

There's Keith Norris & Michelle, Sarah, Loud Mouth, Beatirice stealing my well deserved limelight, and Austin friends Bryan and Tracy Barksdale, whom it would have been a pleasure to talk to more, had I been able to shake Skyler. Jesus.

Perhaps Sarah said it best when she announced she'd be going to the spa the next day. Not having a ticket to AHS, "I'm not going to pay to hear Skyler speak. I might pay to shut him up."

Comments

  1. I saw you guys in there! My boyfriend doesn’t read the blogs (he just eats what I cook), so I excitedly told him “that’s the meatza guy!!” We got the quail, marrow bone, oxtail poutine, and pig ear. It was my first time having marrow bone (or pig ear for that matter); it was fantastic. It was also fun horrifying my coworkers with the tale when I got back to the office yesterday!

    • “It was also fun horrifying my coworkers with the tale when I got back to the office yesterday!”

      I live for that shit. My favorite? Up until a year ago we lived in downtown lofts in San Jose and had a bunch of friends, many gay or lesbian couples and most all are very liberal politically and are very involved.

      I used to love to tell than that I’d calculated that no matter where I was in the loft, I was less than six seconds away from a loaded gun.

      …The looks on their faces…

      • Mike Gruber says:

        Six seconds? You like to live dangerously, huh? Mine is usually on my belt … but I don’t live in Kalifornia. ;-)

  2. Oh, Richard, what would I ever do with you? This blog is seriously the best, and I love the fire in your belly since AHS.

  3. That was a parm fondue sauce on the steak.

    My wife slow clapped this post after laughing at it.

  4. What, no Cali wines on the list? Or Oregon? The menu looks pretty freakin good, however. I could overlook the wine. Unless you just posted a sampling?

  5. Ha! Love the women attempting to restore order. That’s our job, by the way. We attempt to “civilize” our men, but we only have so much stomach for it. Then we just give up, and have another drink (or brains, or you name it)

  6. Your dinner looks like it was as fun and delicious as ours! The difference is at our table, the guys were trying to restore order! P.S. I gotta give credit where credit is due — my hubby, Fitbomb, is the camera ace. I’m just the in-house glutton!

  7. George Phillips says:

    Not sure about the fatty goose liver?

  8. Is this the same Skyler Tanner who thought the Ottomans built the Hagia Sophia? I suggest you keep away from such ignorant rubes.

  9. Like your new blog photo. Much more like the photos of you at AHS. Looking pretty awesome.

  10. “Everyone who was anyone gave it a shot.”

    I’m sorry, I can’t hear you over the sizzling sound of ALL-YOU-CAN-EAT BEEF TONGUE, ABOMASUM, FATTY BRISKET, AND THICK-SLICED PORK BELLY! Spiced with six different kinds of FOQIFAINO!

    JS

  11. I can only imagine what the restaurant would have been like with you two in there.

    Civilized Diner: “What the fu…”
    Richard: “WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM SKY-WHATEVERTHEHELLYOURNAMEIS”
    SKY-WHTEVAR: “SHIT. WHAT’S THAT DUDE’S PROBLEM OVER THERE?!”

    At least last time I was at Animal it was too quiet…

  12. I”ll assume wine or beer was the reason for the loud yelling. Funny that they didn’t have any real liquor at Animal’s bar, kind of lame.

    Anyway, loud talking seemed to be the theme for the weekend, I almost lost my voice by the second day, Hah

    • NO DAVID, SKYLER AND I, ACCORDING TO OUR WIVES, ARE THE KINDA GUYS WHO GET TOLD TO BE TALK QUIETER IN LIBRARIES, MOVIE THEATERS, CEMETERIES, WEDDINGS, FUNERALS…

  13. Also, notice the similarities with Skyler in this pic: http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_XZ18O1-Ll8s/TJ1bXzgKZEI/AAAAAAAAAJs/ANoV3JcN_bM/s400/richard_simmons.jpg

    Probably not a coincidence. :D

  14. You only chirp the ones you love… Why waste your breathe on the pricks?

    Richard, your blog has taken a decided turn for the best today. And that’s saying something, because it was pretty damned good before.

    • Ha, so true, Todd.

      Although, I just might have to do a hit piece on the _girlish_ Colpo here in the near future (ref: a recent email distribution where he referenced me).

  15. Funniest post ever.

  16. Roberto says:

    “That’s what I say. Just don’t do it more than 4-5 times per week.”

    So are you actually eating gluten that often now Richard, or was that tongue-in-cheek?

  17. Roberto says:

    I see.

    You’ve obviously had great success with your diet and lifestyle program – you look even more robust in your latest profile pic – so I guess if it ain’t broke don’t fix it. But for curiosity’s sake, have you ever considered adding gluten products to your diet on a more frequent basis to see what effect it has on you?

    Clearly WonderBread and Frosted Wheaties are bad choices. I chose to add true sourdough bread, unbleached white flour for home baking purposes, and pasta to my loose interpretation of the Paleo Diet. I’ve seen no ill-effects so far and remarkable improvements in energy for my work outs. I’ve never had any problems with glucose control, however.

    • Funny you should mention. My parents are in town and dad wanted to go to a favorite German restaurant of his last night. I indulged in some of the dark rye bread, lots of butter. Also, the sauce on my meat dish likely had four in it, and I had a couple of bites of strudel. Result was a big bloat, followed by nuclear heartburn, and now, you would NOT want to be downwind of me by any means.

      But I’m actually glad I have to pay for indiscretions like that.

  18. Roberto says:

    That certainly sounds displeasing.

    Strangely, I also get wicked heart burn from wheat flour, but only if it is bleached white. I can eat 3 large pancakes made from unbleached flour without the slightest hiccup – perfect digestion. But even the effect from bleached flour I noticed mostly when I first reintroduced wheat to my diet. The odd hot-dog bun or slice of restaurant pizza gave me severe heart burn. Now such indulgences don’t seem to bother me as much – but when I do get heart burn it is ALWAYS after eating bleached flour.

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