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Real Results Video Interview – Paleo Parents – The Three Kids, Part 2

Here's the link to Part 1.

I don't want to take up a lot of time with my own Bullshit. For one, I use the concept at the end of the interview. For two, this is perhaps the most important post I have ever done. So just a little Bullshit. Well, maybe medium Bullshit, because I don't care for Bullshit sitting on my chest.

My wife and I decided long ago not to have kids. This sort of decision is unusual, not the norm, and makes for a far, far different life than one would have otherwise. I just wasn't interested. Beatrice loves children. So much so, she became a school teacher and is coming up on 30 years of doing that same thing every day. She dotes on her nephews & nieces and I insist that mine interest me, and then I'm all in. I'm an asshole. Bea has her kid fix every day.

But frankly, one of the reasons I was negative to the idea of kids going back a long time is because, for the most part, the little fockers can annoy me to no end in sight. I can't tell you how many times over years and years I have slapped myself on the cheek, wondering why people put up with the 24/7 crap very nearly every kid puts out. And, it's far too long since my childhood days -- where you only remember the good stuff -- that I know how to reconcile it. I think we didn't behave as badly as people put up with now, commonplace. But that's just me.

This part of the video makes me wonder if I missed out, having a mignon or two. I live with no regrets and I take my chances and lumps, but perhaps, just perhaps, we evolved in such a way that children are not naturally a massive pain in the ass as I have uniformly noted them to be, and that includes every single one I have ever known.

I have an intro and a conclusion to the following video. The intro is about 20 seconds and while I understand many of you are just not into the videos I've been doing lately, I'm going to ask that you watch at least the intro, maybe a minute or two into the content, and then decide: "do I know anyone with kids who might benefit from this."

Screen Shot 2011 09 08 at 2 29 16 PM
Cole, Finian and Wesley

Then listen to your conscience from there.

What we cover is every imaginable "normal affliction" kids face -- afflictions even I grew up with and saw in the early 60s -- and how Paleo seemed to resolve them all -- as if there's something magical about living and being a wild human animal.

Click on it.

Here's the links:

Comments

  1. Richard, there is no greater compliment than your saying perhaps you missed out in not having kids. Matt and I never thought we’d have kids, but luckily Cole decided otherwise and we decided to dive in whole hog if we were going to do it at all.
    Life would be different, more quiet yes, without them – but I genuinely think you could have enjoyed your own paleo rugrats to chase and keep you on your toes should a different path have been taken. Being Aunt and Uncle who spoil and get to leave when they want sure sounds wonderful sometimes, too!
    Either way, your sincerity in wanting to spread and share this message in order to perhaps change the future of the world’s children is something I’ll never forget – thank you.

  2. Great message! Although our kids are older (12 and 15), easing them down the path to eating Paleo has been a great journey for their health and well-being. BTW, my husband had to twist my arm into having kids, so I understand that POV completely, but it has been a simply amazing thing to share our lives with these incredible kids. And I say that as a mom who has taken a week-long roadtrip with a teenager and come out the other side having had a great time.;-)

  3. Although I have four kids, I understand the decision to not have them as well. Any time I think of describing having children I think back to a 60+ year old gentleman who was cutting my hair.

    He had moved from Turkey to the U.S. just a few years prior, so I was caught off guard when he commented on how precious my little girl was and then asked me “How many children have you been blessed with?”

    “Blessed with children” is not how must Americans describe it. It took me a moment, and I said with a smile “I’ve been blessed to have four children.”

    He smiled and said “Ahhh. Children are such a blessing…maybe not moment by moment, but overall.”

    That single sentence has stuck with me ever since. It just describes it so well. When I’m so angry at my teenage kids that I leave the room and go smash old keyboards into pieces, that’s the moment by moment he’s referring to. But the overall part happens in the slightest little things. The little thank you out of nowhere, the “I love you” just because. Yep, overall, but definitely NOT moment to moment.

    Having eaten this way for several years, and being very vocal about it, I have two kids who have left the house and preach the real-food message to friends and co-workers. Still have two teenagers at home who explain to guests why they don’t have acne any more. Someday I’ll be helping my grandkids decipher the latest in nutritional wisdom. I’m sure we’ll have the USDA Food Icosahedron all worked out by then.

  4. For the four years of my first sons life I have been concerned about his diet. One thing we are pretty strict on is artificial colors. When he was 2, my husband was giving him frosted mini wheats (gross! can you believe that?). Well, later that night we witnessed something terrible. Our son was crying, bawling, and he literally could not stop. The look in his eyes was awful. He was inconsolable. He would cry for a toy, and couldn’t stop even when we gave it to him. So no more dyes. That stuff is poison. And people give it to their kids and then wonder why there are terrors.

  5. richard, i don’t blame you for not wanting kids, i didn’t either for the longest time and even as i was pregnant felt sort of freaked out. i ate a weston price diet for a long time before ditching the grains shortly after my little one was born and boy do i notice a difference in her from other kids. everything from behavior to appearance. she has amazing bone structure in her face and beautiful, big, straight teeth. both her dad and i have terrible teeth, and i feel so happy to have spared my girl from the painful dental procedures i went through. my girl, now two years old, has often been described as “zen like” by other people. she is definitely not lacking in personality and is very spirited, but it’s not any of that crazy screaming and throwing stuff. she is able to put her energy into playing and creating and just being a happy kid. going back to my pregnancy – it was complication free and she was born quickly and easily. i’m looking forward to my future children instead of freaking out like i was before! thanks for bringing up this topic richard! super interesting!

  6. Before getting married and having kids I would be shocked when someone said they didn’t want kids. After having two of my own I understand why someone would make that decision.
    I love that quote above: “Ahhh. Children are such a blessing…maybe not moment by moment, but overall.”
    My nephew has just been diagnosed with ADD so I will bring this interview to my sister-in-law’s attention.

  7. Cue the joys (and tribulations) of having children bandwagon. And yes, here’s me hopping aboard.

    I’m trying to think of something somewhat original to say on this subject. Let’s see, the circle of life, no that’s not it, oh I got it, as an anarcho-capitalist, you need their tears to thrive.

    Everyone knows that libertarians, and especially anarcho-capitalists, have a deep-seated need to watch people suffer. When I’m not polishing my gold-plated monocle, dusting off my top hat, or attending secret cabalistic meetings with the Koch Bro’s, I enjoy inflicting painful traumas upon my son like making him pick up his toys or telling him he can’t have any chocolate. These are the joys that feed my sadistic libertarian soul.

    Let’s face it, the odds of us watching our Great Society be piteously destroyed by lowered taxes, adherance to that silly old Bill of Rights, school vouchers, drug legalization, an abandonment of New Keynesian economics, etc, are pretty damn miniscule. Yet we need those tears to live!!! Like a vampire needs blood. Except that vampires aren’t real, of course, and WE ARE!!!!

  8. Great interview! I have been thinking about the correlation to ADD, focus & behavior issues in kids with poor eating habits. My son is in the process of being tested for various things after a bad school year and some issues with balance and I know in my gut it has a lot to do with his diet. He is 8 years old and barely eats meat and eats no veggies. His diet is almost all processed foods. He has been a very picky eater since he was 2 and has taste/smell issues. This is going to be a tough battle but I know I need to get him on track. I have been Paleo for 4 months with amazing, life changing results and it is time to phase out the junk! I can’t poison my kids anymore. To Matthew & Stacy: Thank you so very much for sharing your family’s story and the success you have had with your children! Wish you all the best! And I’m following you on Facebook! :)

    • Dana,

      Thanks so much for the follow, I hope it’s helpful in the journey you have ahead. There might be a few frustrating weeks where you have to really stand your ground, but find some “transition” foods and keep in mind that it’s for the health of your child. Their health is always more important than their desire to eat goldfish…. good luck!

  9. Mike Gruber says:

    People who have kids never seem to want advice on kids from those of us who don’t. A friend of mine once referred to it as “armchair parenting”. :-)

    • Mike,

      As a parent, if someone who didn’t have kids sent me a link to the video and simply said “Saw this and thought you might be interested” I wouldn’t think of that as armchair parenting. If you, however, sent it and said “You’re doing it WRONG, you gotta do what these people did” I’d end up despising you…

  10. I don’t kids either, don’t care much for them. The thing about having kids is that if you have them via birth, you have done everything you possibly can to destroy the planet, given that human overpopulation is the biggest factor in environmental degradation.

    I don’t have much of a problem with that, on account of I will most likely be dead in thirty years, at which point it becomes somebody else’s problem … however I have found that parents are the absolute WORST when it come to giving me crap about conservation recycling being green etc.

    I think if you have given birth or caused someone else to give birth, you should just be quiet about the being green conservation stuff for the rest of your life, because environmentally speaking, you have screwed the pooch.

    • Just so we’re clear, I’m a selfish mutherfucker and cannot imagine wasting my one and only life worrying about the planet.

      I never do, I loathe recycling and I try my hardest to make the biggest impact possible without apology to pussies.

      • My sentiments exactly. I think people who are worried about their footprint on the planet should do the right thing and kill themselves. No more worrying about having children who sully the earth!

    • Just to clarify, I’m not the “rob” above. I’m the other Rob.

  11. I decided not to have children when I was 34, after a lifetime of expecting to have them. Why? Because I realized I’d make an absolutely shitty parent. Richard, you’re spared a lot of stuff about not wanting kids because you’re a guy. If you’re a woman and you let it be known even as subtly as you can that you don’t want to have children? OMFG YOU ARE EVIL AND UNNATURAL AND HOW WOULD YOU KNOW YOU’D BE A BAD MOTHER IF YOU DIDN’T HAVE A CHILD FIRST? Excuse me if I choose not to take the test of bringing another human into this world to see if I’d immediately fall in love and fuck you for your misogyny. Also fuck you for parading your expensive human pets–sorry, first worlders, that’s what they are these days–to boost your self-esteem. WHOOO YOUR KIDS ARE PALEO. Don’t expect me to fall over gushing about it.

  12. I don’t think most people have or need strong reasons to procreate. They simply do. In my opinion, choosing not to procreate does not require strong reasons either. In other words, it seems strange to me to have to justify decisions of this nature.

    You chose not to have children? Good for you. You chose to? Power to you.

    I like children a lot. Certainly more than I like adults. Still, I chose not to have my own and that’s that.

  13. “Its for the children. And for once, that’s not bullshit”

    Good stuff. The quickest way to a parent’s heart is probably going to be talking about how something is harming their child (i hope at least).

  14. Jessica K says:

    Suffering for years with severe allergy issues and weight problems, was not enough to produce change. Seeing allergy issues in my three year old and one yeah old daughter, now that was the wakeup call. If I have the power to change this, wouldn’t I?

    What kills me is the mentality from others that I am denying my kids something by not letting them eat cake. I know I am giving them a gift. Fuck the naysayers.

  15. Jessica K says:

    As far as the choice to have kids. I chose to have children and it turned out to be the right decision for me. You chose not to. Was it the right decision for you? Don’t know. Don’t care. Its your lifestyle choice, not mine. Have at it.

    • It’s not a decisions that comes without some remorse, for both wife and I. We could probably adopt and I suspect that because we don’t, we made the right call for us and the way we live.

      But we live with it. And we live well.

  16. I’m child-free by choice too – never had any maternal instinct, and had five younger brothers and sisters. I knew from an early age I didn’t want to be the mom. At middle age I have wondered what it would have been like – it’s normal to start looking back trying to imagine the choices you didn’t take.

    Having nieces and nephews confirmed my inability to be around babies and children, but now that they are teenagers, it’s nice to visit with them on occasion.

    I agree with Trish that women like me get some real judgemental crap thrown our way, which is fine because I’ve always been a “fuck you if you don’t like it” type. But being a childless atheist is more unpopular than any other group – people would rather have a gay president than an atheist – add childfree to that and I’m practically the devil to some people!

    Unlike Trish, I don’t look down on folks who have children. Having children is the most primal thing you can do. To do it well always gets my admiration.

    • Gina:

      I agree with all of that.

      You have one life to live, which is your own. And if you can’t exactly embrace every decision you ever made, you can at least embrace the independent mindset from which you made them.

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