There's an implicit contradiction in the title, on purpose. If you're friends with a good number of gay males, as I have been for a long time, you know they run the gamut from "queens" to very masculine, and everything in-between. Sometimes, they can turn it on and off, just like anybody behaves different ways according to circumstances.
But naturally effeminate males might not be gay at all. See the "weirdness?"
My wife and I count a whole lot of gay/lesbian single people and couples as good and close friends, for a long time. We've attended wedding-esque things, and even a funeral. Some have been together for going on 30 years; some are promiscuous, and some, you'd never have a clue about their "gayness."
It's kinda like...people. Go figure.
Anyway, owing my experience, I was interested in this video from Reason I saw earlier today, Joel Stein. Googling around, it seems he likes to be somewhat ambiguous about where he's really at. Here's an example, which is pretty funny.
Anyway, Joel Stein on his Stupid Quest for Masculinity. There's a level of unabashed honesty from both host Tim Cavanaugh and Joel I really like.
"I went into the book thinking that being a man, in reality, was about being loyal, and being present, and being honest," says Joel Stein, author of the new book, Man Made: A Stupid Quest for Masculinity. "And then I found out that's bullshit. Being a man is about being kneed in the face by [mixed-martial-arts fighter] Randy Couture."
Have at it in comments if you wish.