Prepare for outrage, because that's the unabashed reason behind this "guest post." Actually, it's a hybrid, because I'll be adding plenty of follow up after her part of it. Sadie sue Saunders is a longtime reader, longtime supporter, and was actually the subject of a couple of other blog posts—one of which was included in version 2.0 of my book. See here, and here.
Sadie sue emailed me with some info the other day and I immediately replied: "Make it a guest post and I'll toss it up." She polished it, but kept it in the form of a letter to me. Then she emailed me some other stuff you are not going to believe (wait until the end of the post). ...I'm also going to tell you single guys that Sadie sue is a single mom of three beautiful girls in the midwest and is looking for a suitable "caveman." If I were single and 30s-40s-ish, I'd figure out how to get an email out to her and strike up a friendly conversation leading to friendship. Just sayin'. She told me it was OK to mention that when I asked if I could.
Thanks for allowing me to rant about the new, despicable Michelle-Obama-inspired crime against our children. It is called the "improved" school lunch program. You can see the
guidelines recipe for starving our children here. I am not nearly as articulate as the former teacher who wrote this very well-researched article, but I am going to give it a shot anyway and here is a quote from the other post so you know it’s worth looking at:
As a biologist and someone who taught anatomy and physiology as a part time job, I'm appalled. Apparently dietitians no longer take anatomy courses because the first thing you would learn about the nervous system and the brain in MY three credit college class is that the brain is fueled by protein and fat. And the USDA has all but eliminated protein and fat from the school lunch menu.
We cave people know a bit about portion sizes, but to illustrate the utter stupidity of the school
lunch snack program, I would like to point out that for my daughters, the meat portion sizes equate to 1/4 of a hot dog, 3/4 cup of lettuce, and 1/2 cup of some canned HFCS drenched fruit and a carton of skim milk. That's it. Nothing else... W.T.F.??? Oh, and breakfast may not have any protein at all. None; as in nada, zero, zip zilch...Elvis has left the building and he took Common Sense and all the bacon and eggs with him. This isn't about my kids; it's about everyone's kids. This so diabolical that it seems like the goal is to stunt people's growth and add to keeping them dumbed down. Like a bunch of evil geniuses sat around asking themselves, "How can we keep everyone weak and stupid?" None of us can really concentrate and learn while we are starving, not that it's a scientific opinion, but that's how it works with the little humans at my house and I am far too lazy and pissed off to find any of the gazillion scientific studies that prove I’m right.
I used to pack the girls lunches about half the time, but now it will have to be every single day, and no, I don’t have a money tree in the back yard. Oh yes, I will bitch about the extra cost and the pain in the ass of getting up extra early to make breakfast and pack lunches and I will need to clock a little OT here and there to cover the expense, but ultimately, I can afford this. Sadly, many families count on their kids getting that free meal, so what the hell are they supposed to do? I’m all for thinning the herd, but the slow, weak and stupid generally do a great job of taking themselves out of the equation and I don’t think that it’s necessary to intentionally starve innocent children.
I have talked to several parents about the new "higher" supposedly "healthier" standards and, needless to say, even the non-paleo folks (if they are able to afford it) are packing their kids’ lunches from now on—including the head chef for our district—who is also fully prepared to resign over this outrage. On top of the portion sizes the schools are now forbidden from making anything from scratch. Nevermind that the school was never going to serve up meatza—but now they have to use highly processed nutrient-free frozen crap instead of allowing our talented food service folks to make the pizza dough and sauce themselves. (Seriously, I refer to the head lunch dude as "chef" because he and Mrs. Chef own the local bakery and they cater big events. It’s not paleo, but it is delicious!)
Imagine how it would feel to be a growing child being given 1/2 of a hotdog as your "main" entree. Oh, wait, did I mention that meat is no longer the main dish? The school must now serve the veggie on the big part of the lunch tray. Meat, if you can even call a hotdog or canned ham-like-meat-flavored-product "meat," is now a side dish and there is no requirement that meat be served at each meal. In contrast to the government dietician approved wisdom, this morning, the girls ate a big pile of bacon and each one had 2-3 eggs plus a couple handfuls of cherry tomatoes. That was at 6:30 this morning. At 7:05, they walked 1.2 miles to the school/bus stop. Zoe's lunch was at 11:00 and then—sorry, no afternoon snacks allowed—at 3:55, when the bus dropped her off she and Mattie walked the 1.2 miles home. Zoe is having a growth spurt, so after that, I wouldn't at all be surprised if she used her cavegirl stick to actually kill something and eat it on the way home. Even worse for Skyler, she is at the Jr. High now and she has volleyball until 6:30pm. Skyler went to volleyball practice for two and a half hours after having a “lunch” that consisted of two chicken nuggets, ½ cup of canned peaches and some mushy, disgusting green beans that she wouldn’t even eat. Yeah, that will freaking fuel an athlete and girl about to hit puberty...arrgh.
This concludes my bitch session. Richard, thank you so much for allowing me to vent my frustration on this topic. If your readers have any suggestions for lunches or tips for keeping things hot/cold, I would really appreciate it!
...I know that most, especially long timers, will always understand how my rage works. For others, it's always and will always be about them—even as they waste their hours trying to convince all y'all that I'm a detriment to the community at large. But, unfortunately, sane and essentially caring heads like Sadie sue's will always, always prevail (the ones I really care about)—and I have zero fear and much amusement over what an evil celebrity I've become. Let it roll, grils. And, kisses. You give me good laughs almost everyday...to the point I'm sorely disappointed and my morning coffee tastes bad if I don't have something new and salacious about myself to read. Consider my ego, please!
...I exchanged a few emails with Sadie sue in the runnup to all of this. Like this.
Glad you liked the letter format that I sent you. I tried to be brief and keep the language accessible, as I am obviously not qualified to have any sort of expert opinion other than having little kids. We cooked all day yesterday trying to get some of the lunches made that the girls will take this week. They "sampled" everything we decided on and I am pretty sure that they ate an entire week's worth of Ms.-Obama-approved calories yesterday afternoon alone. (Take that, government control-freaks!)
BTW, pork chops marinated in raspberry vinaigrette and stuffed with cornbread and dried cherry stuffing are delicious!
I've always loathed the idea that a "First Lady" has any more than fuck all to say about your life—like, by virtue of a bigger mob of social masturbators (voters), they are somehow anointed in ways that diminish your on-the-ground efforts and reality in lieu of their political reality and promotion for the sake of adulation and power over you. For those who have the stomach for it, here, from 2007: Fuck Obama and His Stupid Bitch. Call me a misogynist if you like for the 100th time, but what do you wanna bet that Michelle's innocent kids aren't living the life of luxury and opulence at your expense (...just so you know: Fuck GWB and his stupid bitch, too; she ought to have stuck to honest work, like teaching kids). This ought not be taken as political in any sense. I don't vote. Fuck 'em all.
Last. If you're outraged about my characterization of "our leaders" (who the fuck needs one?) that was my intention because if you don't find this even more outrageous, then I have nothing for you. From Sadie sue, yesterday afternoon. If you paid attention, she wrote how now she has to pack a lunch every day. Well....
Update on the lunch outrage: Salad chock full of homegrown veggies (beets, green beans, kohlrabi, carrots and broccoli on some store bought lettuce) topped with the meat from two grilled chicken drumsticks. Lunch monitor (scratch that) Overbearing, Control Freak, Lunch Nazi told the middle child she had too much meat and that isn't allowed. Stay tuned. This could get ugly. [emphasis added]
Now it's your turn. Just go ahead and complain that I called dear dear Michelle a Stupid Bitch. Go right ahead, because I can't wait for it.