I suppose it’s time to provide context. I’m posting this here, and on Patreon.
In February of 2001, Beatrice Fabela and I got married at Rocky Point, 10 miles south of Carmel, CA. It was after about 4 years of living together, two of those since buying a house in Willow Glen in San Jose, fixing it up, etc.
It’s been a good run, but it’s over now.
Three weeks ago today—well, at about 11pm the night prior—she took the dogs and left after an argument and I have not seen her since, nor spoken with her. She’s safe and sound with her parents and general family down in SoCal. We’ve texted here and there.
Today marks my 57th birthday and over the last couple of days I have finally crossed the point of no return, which is also the point at which I stop stewing about the past, transitioning to a view of the future and the opportunities and joys it may afford for me—and to Beatrice as well, which I would certainly hope for and celebrate.
The how and why is not important, anymore, though I will say that it does not involve infidelity on either part; not now and not ever. It’s just the process of life, in which we’re both guilty and we’re both blameless. We’re both human animals living a human life and sometimes there comes the point where our paths must diverge for our mutual well-being.
But fuck, it’s hard. When we were married I had just turned 40 and she was 41 and some months. It was the first marriage for both of us and in a bit less than a month it will be the 17th and last anniversary. No children were involved then, nor since. In that respect, it makes this process an exercise in an equitable distribution of assets.
In terms of my own production here and on Patreon, well, now you perhaps have some insight and understanding into how I have not been myself, lately. That part has been especially stressful because I’m such a consistent producer going back a very long time. And in terms of Patreon, I’m being paid for it directly, which gives me a level of guilt that must be rectified. I thank and appreciate all those who understand and wish to stick with me. It will get better, and very soon. This post is the first step in that definitive process.
Your monetary support at $5 monthly and vote of confidence means a great deal to me. I don’t take it lightly. As it turns out, January has proven to be a healthy lackluster coast in terms of Bitcoin and Cryptocurrency which I’m thankful for on a number of levels, as it has provided me the opportunity to not say much of anything when there’s really not that much to say. In a sense, you also pay me to not fill your eyes and ears with the irrelevant and meaningless in times such as these.
Well, it is my birthday so I believe I’ll take the rest of the day off, blast lots of Rush music, and when not, continue my binging of the History Channel series, Vikings.
You will see me tomorrow, moving forward and onward. Thank you.