Well, not that the Mail Online is any sort of authority — what
main stream media outlet whore is? but every now and then, you get tossed a bone. I’ll get to that later. But first, I have one bone to pick with some stupid fucking "paleo" bullshit. And I’ve said it before.
The next time I see some paleo blogger, tweeter, commenter or whatever the fuck…apologizing for his or her love of meat, fish and fowl by heaping praise on vegetables & fruits, I think I’m going to set my sights on figuring out how to physically transport vomit down the Intertubes.
"So colorful, with wonderful textures, and did I mention that they have ANTIOXIDANTS (bow your stupid fuckin’ heads)!!!?"
…It rings in my ear like some freshman college coed who just "lost" her "precious gift" only moments ago and is now wheapily atoning for her "sins of the flesh." …Which, incidentally and of course, is so fucking ignorant as to be dismissible as abject ignorance (or training from jerk-fuck-ignorant parents).
And…So what’s your excuse, oh bright, intelligent, mature ones? Why is it that your knee jerk — or jerk off — reaction to the charge of "that sounds like Atkins" is to apologetically proclaim that your diet has LOTS OF VEGETABLES. Fuck. That. My diet: lots of meat, mutherfuckers. Choke the fuck on it, you stupids and who, by the way, can’t beat your nutrition out of a wet paper sack. Automatic knee jerk jerks who try to get you off guard with Atkins are nothing in the world more than ignorant fucks who ought to be dismissed out of hand. And embarrassed in public. Then pummeled with lamb chops whilst their children watch in lip-smacking horror.
You fucking love meat. Dontcha?
Then why are you always apologizing for it with these fucking veggie dishes? It’s so dammed annoying, yawl…paleo pussies. Vegetables serve two purposes: first and foremost, they feed meat. Second, they enhance flavor in profound ways when used properly and otherwise stay outta the fucking way.
So let’s get to the link, which was inspiring on a number of levels: This cynical five-a-day myth: Nutrition expert claims we’ve all been duped. Y’don’t say.
With great fanfare, it was reported last week that the current health advice about eating five portions of fruit and vegetables a day is outdated, and that scientists now believe that eight portions is more beneficial.
While many people grumbled about how on earth they would manage those extra portions, I allowed myself a wry smile.
For more than two years I’ve known that the ‘five-a-day’ mantra we’re all so familiar with is nothing but a fairytale.
Ha! If five is good, then eight must certainly be better (this is because — of course — epidemiology on vegetable consumption demonstrates no benefit; so, because we just know, increase it until we get the epidemiological result we want — kicking the can forward a coupla more decades where we’ll all be retired).
Of course, they are tasty, colourful additions to any meal. But in terms of health and nutrition, fruit and veg have little to offer, and telling us to eat eight portions a day is compounding one of the worst health fallacies in recent history.
Tasty, colorful, and nutritionally vapid. Let’s see. Zoe Harcombe, again:
People are convinced that fruit and vegetables are a particularly good source of vitamins and minerals.
For a long time, I too was a believer. I was a vegetarian for 20 years. It is only after nearly two decades of my own research — I am a Cambridge graduate and currently studying for a PhD in nutrition —that I have changed my views.
The message that fruit and veg are pretty useless, nutritionally, gradually dawned on me.
The facts are these. There are 13 vitamins and fruit is good for one of them, vitamin C.
Vegetables offer some vitamins — vitamin C and the vegetable form of the fat-soluble vitamins A and vitamin K1 — but your body will be able to absorb these only if you add some fat, such as butter or olive oil.
The useful forms of A and K — retinol and K2 respectively — are found only in animal foods. As for minerals, there are 16 and fruit is good for one of them, potassium, which is not a substance we are often short of, as it is found in water.
Vegetables can be OK for iron and calcium but the vitamins and minerals in animal foods (meat, fish, eggs and dairy products) beat those in fruit and vegetables hands down. There is far more vitamin A in liver than in an apple, for instance.
But surely, people ask, even if there is no evidence that increasing our intake of fruit and vegetables will help prevent disease, they remain good things to eat?
I don’t think so. If people try to add five portions of fruit and veg — let alone eight — a day to their diet, it can be counterproductive. Fruit contains high levels of fructose, or fruit sugar. […]
Fructose goes straight to the liver and is stored as fat. Very few people understand or want to believe this biochemical fact.
That last paragraph? How long have I and others been saying that? Well, I’m not perfect, but I far prefer scotch to fruit. Any day.
By the way. You noted that she, Zoe Harcombe, is a nutritionist? But guess what? By her own admission, she fucked up, to put it in my way of words. For the most part and never intending at the outset, nutritionists are (as are most white coats) merely — and I do mean merely in the most base way — nothing more than regurgitators of data…which makes them second rate to most autistics. Thier only real skill is that they can test competently to dispense their regurgitated data, passed down as Catechism from the nutritional, medicinal pope. Let’s continue.
Another argument that is often put forward by dieticians on behalf of fruit and vegetables is that they are ‘a source of antioxidants’.
They believe we need to have more antioxidants in our diet to counteract the oxidants that damage the body’s cells, either as a result of normal metabolic processes or as a reaction to environmental chemicals and pollutants.
But I would rather concentrate on not putting oxidants such as sugar, processed food, cigarette smoke or chemicals into my body.
I’m gonna puke the next time I hear ‘antioxidant’ from a paleo. To my mind, the idea is less substantiated than the lipid hypothesis. Real Food.
Besides, fruit has a fraction of the antioxidants of coffee, though you rarely hear dieticians singing coffee’s praises.
Incidentally, the body’s natural antioxidant is vitamin E, which is found in seeds — and particularly sunflower seeds.
Another problem is that dieticians tell you to eat less fat. We’re told that fat is bad for us but this has not been proven at all.
Of course, man-made trans-fats such as those found in biscuits and cakes are very unhealthy and should be banned.
But natural fats such as those in eggs, meat and fish should not be demonised alongside trans-fats. They are essential to our wellbeing and they are what we’ve lived on for thousands of years.
According to a recent survey, the British people are deficient in vitamins A, D, E — all of which are fat-soluble. If we added a dollop of butter to our portion of vegetables, they would be better for us — not worse. […]
If only we had hand-picked the five foodstuffs that are actually most nutritious and spent what the Department of Health has spent on promoting fruit and vegetables over the past 20 years on recommending them, we could have made an enormous difference to the health and weight of our nation.
If you ask me, these foodstuffs are liver (good for all vitamins and packed with minerals), sardines (for vitamin D and calcium), eggs (all-round super-food with vitamins A, B, D, E and K, iron, zinc, calcium and more), sunflower seeds (magnesium, vitamin E and zinc) and dark-green vegetables such as broccoli or spinach (for vitamins C, K and iron).
Well, I gotta run and tend to the shoulder with some imaging. Consider this post a Hegelian synthesis. Thesis: my shoulder hurts. Antithesis: fuck the whole world. Synthesis: do an f-bomb laden post as therapy.
The super synthesis is that I may, just may, be getting my groove back.
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