Heartburn: The Acid Test: Big Pizza: 100% Pass

For The First Time In My Life

See the Time Stamp

I’m on quite a tear with these two entirely new, way out there things…one of them so obvious (this heartburn Total-Control Absolute Cure) you’ll shake your head when you finally learn of it.

… It was right under our noses all along. Probably why few to nobody saw it.

Here’s what I’m talking about:

— The Ultimate Sports Energy Drink That Doubles as Both Pre- and Post-Workout Meals (New Paywalled Post for Members)

— The 100% Every Time Heartburn Cure You Never Heard About (New Paywalled Post for Members)

— The Ultimate Sports Energy Drink That Doubles as Both Pre- and Post-Workout Meals (New $30 Download – free to all members)

— The 100% Every Time Heartburn Cure You Never Heard About (New $30 Download – free to all members)

To get the money part out of the way, all paid downloads (which are all priced at $30), of which there are 14 of them now, are included in all levels of membership. The lowest level of membership is $20. It is recurring monthly, but you have a month to cancel with a click and I don’t mind if you snag all paid downloads and do just that—a deal’s a deal. For 10 bucks more for, you still get everything, but you have 3 months to decide if FreeTheAnimal membership is right for you. 100 bucks is the best savings by far (do the math) and you get a year. But make sure we’re a fit and you can handle me shitting all over a lot of stuff you think now that you hold near and dear. You won’t for so long.

… Because one day, you’ll say…[“you were right”]. And I’m confident of that because I’ve heard it hundreds of times in the last 20 years. Once you begin to honestly realize that a great proportion of what you believe and hold dear has always just been accepted because that’s how you were taught (a euphemism for indoctrinated) you start to really tear down the wall.

Many will not. Not ever. Weakness and fear.

Here’s the checkout.

Okay, let’s get to the story part of this. I’ll talk first about the energy drink that doubles as both a pre- and post-workout supplement. I’ve tried lots of stuff—you name it. You know, the off-the-shelf stuff you stir into a glass of water or juice. I’ve tried food like fruit; fruit with low-fat yogurt; fruit with low-fat yogurt and a drizzle of honey; fruit with honey…oh, a chopped-up baked potato; a baked potato with low-fat yogurt to make a kind of potato salad. Those actually work pretty decently for providing energy for a hard workout, and it’s a pre-workout meal, so you still have to do something post-workout.

The downside is two things. There’s food there, and it’s a little bit, you know, churning when you’re working out…I get a bit of digestive discomfort. Now, I haven’t tried it with this new thing for the heartburn cure, so I may be contradicting myself about that. But no matter, I’m on this new thing now where it takes care of that part of it, but it also addresses the other thing. And that is, no matter how I did the fruit, the fruit and the yogurt, the fruit over the honey, the fruit and the honey, the potato, the potato and the yogurt, no matter what I did, I would still be hungry towards the end of the workout. Now, I have zero hunger ever, and no digestive discomfort either. In fact, I have to remind myself to take the other half of the remedy as a post-workout meal. All to the cool.

The other one—the heartburn cure—I have to emphasize that I am a chronic, lifelong heartburn sufferer since the age of nine or ten. And of all the things that I can eat that give me heartburn, the one that’s 100% certain is pizza. The severity of it rests on two things: number one is how much, and number two, whether it’s light or heavy on the cheese. The more cheese, the worse the heartburn. The only time I could get away with having pizza without heartburn is to limit myself to like one or two slices—just a little bit—and then sometimes I would get away without heartburn, not all the time but sometimes. And the other way was a really thin crust with a really minimal amount of cheese. There was a time or two in my recollection where I ate both a large amount and had a lot of cheese, but I didn’t get heartburn. Now, I understand exactly what I did (did not do, actually) in that instance that prevented it.

So, in this case, I had not tried pizza yet. I don’t typically eat pizza—it’s not really on my diet because it violates my rule of combining a lot of carbs and fat in the same meal or the same dish because that’s not found in nature. I’ve explained this before: that you don’t find foods with one exception that have both carbohydrates and fat in them in appreciable amounts.

Anyway, the other day, Anthony Colpo and I went on a long hike on the beach—12 km—and just towards the end, as it was nearing lunchtime, he asked if I wanted to stop and get something to eat. I said, “Yeah, I know a place right here, just a little ways.” So we stopped in there, and he orders this pizza. It looked pretty damn good—right up my alley. It was a Mexican pizza, so it had seasoned ground beef i.e., taco meat, a little bit spicy, with cheese—a fairly substantial amount in this case—and it had jalapeño peppers. Pretty much what would normally be a heartburn bomb for me. And it was about a 12-inch pizza, so on the high medium size, and with all that cheese, it was a pretty big calorie bomb. I thought, “Man, that looks good.”

So today, after my hike to the gym, my workout—you know, taking my pre-workout energy drink and then walking the 2.5 km to the gym and then walking back the 3 km that includes the run up the hill—and then having the post-workout mysterious post-workout meal, I waited an hour, drove over, and I ordered that same Mexican pizza. I followed the procedure. Remember, no drugs, no supplements, there’s no special home remedies or natural remedies or anything of the sort. There’s nothing to take; there’s actually nothing to do. There’s only something to not do. When you hear it, you’re going to be like, “Oh my God, that’s so fucking obvious,” and I can observe it all over nature. And that’s why animals aren’t running around with fucking heartburn all the time.

Not only zero heartburn and not even a hint of it…but because of that big of a meal, and heavy carbs and fat to boot, I doubled down: I put it to the real big-fucken test: I turned on the A/C in the bedroom, closed the door, and took a 2-hr nap. … And I didn’t wake up choking; nor did I wake up having to run to the kitchen for a tsp of baking soda stirred in water to quench the fire in my throat…something I’ve done, no exaggerating, thousands of times in my life.

But you know what? Don’t bother with it; save the 20 bucks. Plenty of people are skeptical, so you must be right. If you don’t believe it personally, that’s fine. Relax, it’s going to be fine. Trust me. And 20 bucks is fucking huge if all it’s going to do is cure chronic, lifelong heartburn.

Save your money.

Really, so that’s the update. I just wanted to let you know I’m all over this. And I will add one last thing: This is not a super easy adjustment. I’ve been at it for three weeks, and at first, it was hit-and-miss. And now, still, sometimes I violate it, but I find when I violate it, I do so minimally, and I’m usually okay. Or if I do get heartburn, it’s extremely mild and resolves itself. It’s becoming second nature to me now, and it’s having other benefits too, which is the other area I have to explore. And that is that I believe it curbs appetite. It could be various mechanisms in place that account for that, but I think you end up eating less. That’s been my experience because I’m dropping weight almost automatically right now and clearly leaning out in the mirror. It’s like, “Wow, this is something.”

… Maybe add this to the list of civilizational causes of obesity…

Okay, one more thing: in the download for the heartburn cure, I say explicitly why you’ve never heard about this. I’m going to give you a clue because there are two massive, big billion-dollar global industries that would be absolutely devastated if people started doing what I’m [not] doing to cure heartburn 100% of the time. If everybody started [not] doing this regularly, it would devastate two global multi-big-billion-dollar industries. There’s one niche in that industry, however, that would actually probably be enhanced and would see somewhat of a resurgence.

And going back to the energy drink pre-and post-workout meal, I’ve got Anthony Colpo interested in that, and he’s quite the researcher. He was quoting me some research he found last night, and he thinks I might be onto something that adds up to being pretty cool. But I won’t say anything about that until I know more.

Alright, so that’s it for this one. Do whatever the fuck you want.

Here’s the checkout.

Richard Nikoley

I started writing Free The Animal in late 2003 as just a little thing to try. 20 years later, turns out I've written over 5,000 posts. I blog what I wish...from diet, health, lifestyle...to philosophy, politics, social antagonism, adventure travel, expat living, location and time independent—while you sleep— income by geoarbitrage, and food pics. I intended to travel the world "homeless," but the Covidiocy Panicdemic squashed that. I became an American expat living in Thailand. I celebrate the audacity and hubris to live by your own exclusive authority and take your own chances. ... I leave the toilet seat up. Read More

1 Comments

  1. PC on February 28, 2024 at 16:01

    Years ago I came across something involving John Meadows with similar advice, although I can’t find it now and that’s a good thing as it maintains our sworn secrecy :-)

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