Dear Mr. Schwarzenegger:

I just heard your spot on the radio drumming up support for your program to solve California’s fiscal problems.

A word of advice; stop using phrases such as: “after all, it’s your money.” This kind of talk just won’t fly politically. Have you any idea at all of the implications of that phrase, and what sort of a moral condemnation it represents for the government and “constitution” you have sworn to uphold? I shudder.

Let’s get this straight. When the government collects less revenue, it is an expense to the government, which is why politicians and the news media always refer to tax cuts as too expensive. Got that? As you have been so successful at everything you’ve ever set out to do (bodybuilding, acting, investing, business entrepreneurship), I assume you want to be a successful politician too. So, here’s how. First, heed the above. Next, you’ll need to adopt the Hillaryesque demeanor that we are all your little children and need your guidance in every aspect of our lives. Everything accrues to you and your government. You need to begin saying things like our homes, our jobs, our paychecks, our children, etc. Use the word we a lot.

That should get you started.