“Can I see your ID?” “I’m sure I’m flattered, but surely you can see by the grey in my beard that I’ve passed the tender age of 21.” “Well, I know, but we have to card everyone.” “But you’re wasting my time, and the time of those standing in line, right there (shooting a glance).” “It’s the store policy, and I could be fired. “Well, better stupid than fired…I guess.” (An exchange between me and a grocery-store cashier about five years ago in the midst of a crisis; there was a party going on and we had run out of adult beverages.) At the point of this exchange, the clerk in question became so outraged that she called the store manager. I left my pending purchases on the conveyor, went to the Payless Drugstore next door, and completed the desired transaction in normal fashion. For those unable to grasp the underlying principles and objects worthy of note in the above, the most they’ll be able to apprehend is my seeming cruelty. Well, if you think that’s cruel, I give you a classic Beck. When I read that the other day, I emailed Billy and thanked him for the inspiration. I...