Global Warming

I can remember that just five years ago, the summers at
my house used to be relatively cool and very wet.  Our summer
temperatures never got much above 80 degrees, and it would rain every
few days, at least.

The last couple of
summers, temperatures have soared as high as 112 degrees at my house,
and we have at times gone whole months without rain.

I am terrified at these effects of global warming.  Several of my
"friends" have said they think this change has more to do with my move
from Seattle to Phoenix, but they are clearly in the pay of the oil

I have explained to them that ABC News and their climate reporting
have educated me that small anecdotal blips in the local weather are
scientifically valid proof of long-term global climate changes.

For example, my Exxon-butt-kissing friends tried to claim that for
over a century, hurricane activity has followed a 20-40 year cycle, and
that the recent upsurge in hurricane activity is due to the return of
the "busy" end of the cycle.  I know from ABC that in fact our
two-hundred years of burning fossil fuels have cause CO2 to build up
and lurk in the atmosphere, ready to jump out and increase hurricane
activity suddenly in 2005.

Its great to see that ABC has adopted the same lofty levels of
scientific proof that are used by the rest of the environmental

Laf. Alright, so here’s my contribution:

Dear ABC:

First, thank you so much for taking our fear and panic seriously — for recognizing how we feel.

I just can’t express in words how worried and upset I am about all this, and, you know, with Bush and all his rich oil-buddies dumping their toxins in the air for a buck. Where we used to worry about our grandchildren, now, thanks to Bush, we’ve got to worry about ourselves.

It’s gotten where I can’t even sleep, anymore, and the heat, the [global] warming — increasing day-by-day — is just making the whole thing worse; and close to home, I can tell you. My backyard? Hell, I’m talking about right in my own bedroom.

Thankfully, I spoke with our property manager this morning and the A/C repairman will be over at 8:30 a.m., tomorrow. My wife is also suggesting that I remove the down comforter. What do you think?

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