How I Learned to Play A Clitoris

The clitoris is rather amazing. Don’t you think? It’s a wonder, in and of itself. It lures young men, provided they have the reality of awareness that women really love sex. But to add, only if they’re reflective and astute enough to account for the mind & character it’s attached to. This is key, and I was lucky enough early on. To fully understand and account, boys-to-men must pass the cock-in-pussy-feels-great test. Pass it by doing advanced work, and you’ll get tossed a fuck-me-now-take-a-shower-and-sleep bone now & then.

It’s the gatekeeper privilege. I like it that way. Why fight it? Why not just go with the natural order?

The clitoris is sheathed and protected. There’s all sorts of millions of emotional baggages and resentments associated with it as perpetual receiver—and ’cause it’s connected to a “malfunctioning computer”—including no end of modern socialist entitlement, now: State as best daddy, best boyfriend, best husband…bullshit…destroying womanhood and motherhood…not to mention keeper and important manager of fuck-it-I-don’t-care-but-I want-to-go-home male vulnerability—for which women are essential.

Yin. Yang.

See, it has a distinct advantage over glans. How versatile, while essential in so many ways. Cocks are a kinda one shot affair unless rested. And while every man says “I can do it 3 or 4 times” …not without rest, you can’t. Women can get off a half dozen times in 15 minuets, pussies.

It can be stimulated in perpetuity; that is, until its host resigns in compete exhaustion and has one of her most memorable sleeps ever.

It’s fortunate that men have the ability to perform this way towards women—and, I suppose, other women too (which might be taken as a failing, guys). It may just possibly fundamentally account for our survival as a species—by the few, the proud: the Clitoris Players.

This is how I learned to play the clitoris, along with some of Oregon’s Best Herb, in 1983. Well, kinda. Minimally, it inspired the post.

What days. Now, I hear, it’s “gross.” From children posing as adults, too. How times have changed and how fucking boring that is. All while children complain endlessly of boredom.

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  1. bornagain on November 15, 2013 at 00:12

    I don’t understand. What the fuck are you talking about?

  2. Richard Nikoley on November 15, 2013 at 00:13

    “I don’t understand.”


  3. […] How I Learned to Play A Clitoris | Free The Animal […]

  4. jim on November 15, 2013 at 06:26

    What do a clitoris, an anniversary, and a toilet have in common?

    Men always miss them.

  5. LeonRover on November 15, 2013 at 07:53

    minuets ?

    Yessss – 15 reps of Air in G Spot Major –

    Mind you when you go from Major to Minor – Goodbye to All That –


  6. Dan on November 15, 2013 at 08:02

    Perhaps I’m reading too much into parts of this post, but I think you’re confusing the natural state of affairs for men and the sickening reality of circumcised penises.

  7. Resurgent on November 15, 2013 at 08:03

    Ever seen a bored buffalo or a bored donkey.. No, animals do not get bored, nature made us that way.

    Truly Primal people don’t know anything about boredom. When you are raw and wild, and you don’t live a life of a polished hypocrisy, boredom does not enter in.

    Richard, your writing take away all inhibitions, all conditionings, all saintliness; you make us raw and wild..

    Now that is a truly Paleo blog.

    Plus 100

  8. bornagain on November 15, 2013 at 12:39

    Oh dear. I just googled the content of your post Richard. What an interesting conundrum you pose for the folks over at paleodrama!

  9. Richard Nikoley on November 15, 2013 at 12:43

    Ha, OK, now you got a laf out of me.

    Cheers. Have a good TGIF and weekend.

  10. marie on November 15, 2013 at 19:19

    Oh my. “Goodbye” …..uploaded by phalenopsis (!) and linked on a clitoris post.
    Satin symmetry, chéri.
    Alors, rien que pour toi :
    (speaks latin, too :D )

  11. Elliot on November 16, 2013 at 16:11

    You hear what is “gross”? Clitoral play? That can’t be what you meant. Who would say such a thing?

  12. Richard Nikoley on November 16, 2013 at 16:24

    Elliot, I’m assuming you’re referring to the last para.

    That was intended for someone who told me that, and that person knows exactly who that person is, because that person checks my blog.

  13. Richard Nikoley on November 16, 2013 at 16:26

    That person is young (young 30s), and that person, so far as I know, has never even alluded to a sexual relationship now, or in that person’s past.

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