I laughed at myself as I wrote that — the contest part. I’m pretty much never interested in contests, and truth be told: I’m happier if you aren’t either. So then, do it for the fun & sport and the title. The thing is, this will be unlike any contest in the Paleo realm you’ve ever seen. Or, it could flop, because it’s not going to be easy. Fun, but not easy.
It so happens that I have on hand some supplements of good quality that are beyond my current capacity to use in a timely fashion (notice how bad I suck at writing a blog to energize you about the contest). Mark Sisson’s Damage Control Master Formula. Now don’t take this the wrong way. I have a two month’s supply, unopened, and the reason I do is because I was on autoship for a number of months, but I don’t supplement daily. I do it intermittently. Consequently, his one month supply lasts me 2-3 months. I’m giving away one of those unopened cases, shipped anywhere in the world I can — and if I can’t ship to the winner, I’ll make it good one way or the other. If this goes well I’ll give away the other month in a similar contest.
Here’s the contest: you need to write a 300 word rant, give or take 50 words (so, 275 – 325…about 3 minutes speaking, ’cause I’m going to read the winning entry in video). English, of course. No rules as to what words you choose. Vulgar as you want, but that could run against you if not in context and too gratuitous. Bottom line is that vulgarity alone won’t win it for you. Cleverness and style will. Think Dennis Miller in his best days.
Now that’s gonna be fucking hard, isn’t it? No, it isn’t, because I’m going to give you such a 9 minute, target rich environment that’s you’re gonna come away thinking that this is gonna be as easy as Obama winning a ‘get your ass kissed’ contest.
Here’s the video and I’ll fill in the last of the details below.
What did I tell you? Here’s the link to the article. And a quote by moron number one, "Pixel."
Pixel spoke with loads of celebrities at PETA’S 30th Anniversary Gala in Hollywood, California, on Saturday. Alec Baldwin, Pamela Anderson, Anjelica Huston and more talked about giving a voice to animals. ‘I was amazed how many people really were animal activist, vegetarians, vegans, no leather. They were doing more than going Naked for PETA; they are living by their beliefs of protecting animals’ she said.
Breathless drivel. How. Fucking. Exciting.
Bryan Adams performed "Everything I Do" and the evening was filled with tributes that moved the audience to tears.
Now, I could write a post in any number of ranting directions; so see, it’s really easy as shit. Pick a single celebrity, machine gun the whole lot, or focus in on the overall transparency of the whole torrid affair. I have no preference and I have no idea which entry could be best.
Her’s the method. I’m going to pick the best three and either — I haven’t decided yet — publish them and put them to a community vote, or, email them to a few of my many paleo contacts and decide by committee. In either case the top three will be published — maybe more — so if I go by committee and we screw it up, comments will be open for your wrath.
Now, many of you put up ranting comments regularly. Just put in a bit more effort and you may have a shot at the title.
Oh, email your entries to me a the freetheanimal email address on the about page. DO NOT post your entries to comments. And you have until Friday morning, 10/1, 8am PST.