My never ending theme: Everybody Is Wrong.
I’ve blogged it before. I have lots of gay friends. I know young promiscuous males (…that never happens, elsewhere); and I know both male-male and female-female couples who’ve been together for over 25 years. I attended a funeral a couple of years ago for one of those lesbian partners. And one of those gay partners was a 20-something navy officer, like me. Got kicked out because of of the kind of junk he likes best.
I get it. I get the marriage battle completely from that angle. It is to say: we love as much, as deeply, as committedly as you. And they do. I’ve witnessed it (and actually, it must be said that they often do a better job of it in my observation).
So, in general, I have long been a supporter of their cause, which was mostly expressed morally: you get to love, fondle, and bed down with any kinds of genitals you prefer. The thing is, they could already do that freely, for decades now. They could simulate the automatic, state-adjudicated rights of a marriage contract via means of powers of attorney and a host of other agreements, contracts, trusts and business entities any competent attorney has in boilerplate. So, OK, then; it’s the moral recognition they craved: our “marriage” is as good as yours.
Of course, The Stupid Party (Republicans…and I sometimes like them better, generally, than The Evil Party—though I completely loath them both) simply could not sue for peace under the priciple of freedom and self-determination: and thereby have the high road handed to them on a silver platter. Why? Simple. It was never, ever a principle for them because they’re not just stupid, but liars. Prima facie. They never, ever meant it. They’ve been frauds from day one. No elaboration necessary. Fuck Republicans, forever. Liars. Frauds: using the language of freedom and self-determination where all they really ever meant is the freedom to choose a variant of a Christian religion, and the determination to adopt one set of Christian diktats over another.
Anyway, a little bit of me died, today, when I heard that my friends were trading in human marriage for State marriage—a “living” contract that changes by the whim of legislature; such that years later in a dispute, they’ll be facing provisions they never bargained for. I had witnessed over some years people behaving as though they knew—without the State—how to love, cherish and be committed to another person for as long as it lasted and splits were pretty easy and uneventful. That always informed me well, I think. Now it’s gone. They traded in complete freedom for a bit of legislated bondage and, and…I can’t help but note that in all of the cheering I heard on NPR while driving to an appointment today, it wasn’t about love, commitment, life choices. Rather, it was about the 1,400 Federal benefits they’ll be entitled to as “Official Spouses,” now (according to someone interviewed…no idea its accuracy). So, then: Fucking Congratulations…I guess. You’ve managed to make yourselves dependent sucklings. Just Google around at the general politicized disaster of what is family court, now. Next, try to imagine that none of your lovers will ever find a way to use the ever evolving family law to give you a very less pleasurable…uh, penetration…legally stealing tens, hundreds of thousands, or millions of dollars from you.
I’m reminded of something I heard way back when, in the steam room of the gym. It was one of those times the gays and lesbians vying for “marriage equality” was in the daily discourse:
“I fully support gay marriage. They have every right to be as miserable as we are.”
I’d add that everyone should always get exactly what they deserve. In the coming decades we’ll see exactly how that turns, as you traded in complete relationship and human marriage freedom for a State contact.