It reminds me of another “perfect job”: Street Sweepers. You know, that make-work thing where those ridiculous vehicles come around every so often to smear all the dirt around with a bit of added water?

Kyle Smith writes in the New York Post:

Unemployed? Underemployed? Working the register at Denny’s when you used to be on the management track? Just been informed you’ll be one of the ObamaCare “29ers” who gets that many hours of work a week, no more, to sidestep penalty costs? Don’t fret. Washington has just brought in a new behavior sheriff. She’s rounding up an encouragement posse to get you to live your life better. She’s 27. Her name is Maya Shankar.

Oh, joy.

In Glamour, in 2006, she said her dream job would be presidential science adviser. So it has come to pass: For her first job, she is now “senior policy advisor at the White House Office of Science and Technology Policy.”

That’s right. Senior. This person was a senior at Yale as of 2007, but now she gets to tell you how to live your life. Sorry: encourage you to make choices that will make you happier.

For a White House senior science advisor wielding the federal joysticks of citizen behavior modification, Shankar has somewhat thin credentials. The only published paper of hers I could find — I’m not making this up — was about whether the color of your juice affected its taste. It was called “Grape Expectations: The Role of Cognitive Influences in Color-Flavor Interactions.”

Useful! Now Shankar has grape expectations for you, America. According to her recruitment e-mail, “The federal government is currently creating a new team that will help build federal capacity to experiment with these approaches and to scale behavioral interventions that have been rigorously evaluated, using, where possible, randomized controlled trials.”

She’s PERFECT! And, I can’t think of a country or a people so deserving of her. You’ve done yourself proud, America. Go ahead. Take a look. There’s a solid 4 pages of good lafs.