For the low price of only $5,997 you too can Get Into Ketosis for 180 days!
I’m not making that up and I’ll get to it later. This is an assemblage of stuff that’s come to me, that I’ve posted about on my Ketotard Chronicles Facebook Group, or I’ve thought about recently.
Let’s begin with some basics, toward a simple but fundamental understanding of just what ketosis is. In the broadest possible terms, it’s a metabolic state in animals, where, higher than baseline ketones are circulating in the bloodstream. There are various ways to measure them: urine (acetoacetate and beta-hydroxybutyric acid, blood (beta-hydroxybutyric acid), and breath (acetone).
There are three physiologically normal means by which these measures will show elevated levels (to differentiate from abnormal conditions, such as ketoacidosis):
- Starvation (there will probably be clear signs by about 18 hours of zero calories)
- Significant chronic caloric restriction (about >600 kcal daily average for a few days should begin showing clear signs)
- hyperfat diets (~80% of caloric intake, combined with very low carbohydrate (~5%) and very moderate protein (~15%)) and/or ingesting exogenous ketones (ketones in a $40 bag; just add water).
To draw a very, very important distinction here: two outta three ain’t bad!
That is, my new Facebook Group, due to its name, has doubtless given many the impression that I am anti-keto and I’m mocking it. However, that is not the case. What I’m doing is mocking the fake trickery of approach #3, above, and I’m calling out the charlatans and ketoshysters making big bucks off of people’s trust and ignorance.
#1, above, is perfectly fine and I practice it too (did 39 hours just last week; 24 hours yesterday). It’s called fasting or intermittent fasting. You could call it controlled or limited starvation. Obviously, it cannot be chronic.
#2 is also perfectly valid as a fat reduction scheme that’s planned out, has a projected endpoint, and includes judicious care taken as to nutritional density (since it involves a forced macronutrient deficiency). There’s another way, termed caloric restriction that’s meant to be chronic (CRON). I’m not convinced that’s a valid “lifestyle” (for lack of a better term), yet.
The thing that should jump out at you logically is that the first two are not at all like the third. Put another way, the first two reflect an explicit “backup” metabolic pathway that utilizes body fat for energy when dietary intake isn’t sufficient for the actions required for one to survive, such as trying to source water and food. The third is essentially the epileptic diet contrived in the 1920s because it was anecdotally reported that fasting seemed to ameliorate epileptic seizures. So, since one cannot fast indefinitely, they came up with a clinical intervention whereby, one could eat at energy balance but because of the macro composition, produce elevated levels of ketones. It was also supposed to be supplemented since even in 1920, it was understood that fat by itself contains no vitamins or minerals and if your diet is 80% fat, you’re in a pretty deep nutritional-density math hole.
Let’s get something straight. So-called Nutritional Ketosis is essentially a marketing term. Why? Because the diet has already existed since 1920. It may have been colloquially called The Epilepsy Diet. I’m sure you can understand why the name change is necessary if you hope to turn a buck. But it’s the same thing, and if you dig into it, comes with no small list of adverse reactions, including death. And from a paper just last year in the context of The Epilepsy Diet AKA Nutritional Ketosis:
CONCLUSION: Long-term ketogenic diet treatment stimulates liver parenchymal injury, hepatic steatosis and gallstone formation. Patients should be monitored by screening liver enzymes and abdominal ultrasonography in order to detect these side effects.
…Let’s face it. You must have noticed the Ketofrenzy going on right now. Smart people ask, “why the [irational] exuberance?” Keto has been known about, like, forever. Why now? It’s because all dietary fads are based on a miracle, by which I mean effortless, guiltless, gluttonous weight loss. They’re all touted to sound new, exciting, a breakthrough, a discovery, all of which lead to a miracle, and out the other side pops the magic.
But all these fads eventually wane or fade away. It’s rarely because of any sort of criticism or exposure that the new fad was just like the old fad, just dressed up differently. But always, and every time, one thing is for certain: there’s some secret for sale and the secret results in magical weight loss. What’s the “secret” to Keto? It’s becoming “fat adapted.” Once you buy the secret and learn how to become “fat adapted,” then eating more fat burns more fat (a priori obvious) Then A Miracle Occurs and not only are you burning the 80% of your dietary calories as fat, but you’re also burning through your body fat accumulation like there’s no tomorrow. Miraculous indeed.
Let’s draw a brutal distinction.
Whenever anyone says “get fat adapted,” run the other way because they’re spouting stinky bullshit for suckers, dupes, and their marks.
Stop and think about the absurdity of it. Your body has been metabolizing fat since even before you were born. I doubt the “placenta diet” is particularly low in fat.
The ruse emerges when the ketoshysters blithely and conveniently allow folks to believe they’re obese, overweight, or struggling with undesirable weight gain as they age because they lack some primal imperative to be some so-called fat burner.
To further explore the illogic in that, the body’s dietary burn hierarchy is:
Alcohol –> Carbohydrate –> Protein –> Fat
How exactly do you become this great human fat-burning specimen that violates metabolic pathways?
Just understanding that simple dietary pecking order ought to be enough to reason on your own that it’s all semantic word play, i.e., bullshit for money. Moreover, one ought to be able to reason why fat is the last priority in an evolutionary context. Remember it: it’s so that fat is easily stored in circumstances of energy abundance, saving for rainy days. They didn’t have EBT cards.
The only certain way to be metabolizing all of your dietary fat and not storing some of it instead is to eat to your energy needs on average. You have to log calories, check the bathroom scale, or feel how your clothes fit and back off as needed (backing off can also ameliorate water retention issues). Eating more fat to burn more fat is a fool’s errand, and the ketogenic work around is just silly. Don’t drink too much, go nearly nil on carb, moderate protein significantly—and since you’ve now reached the end of the dietary food chain, fat is the only thing left, so eat lots of the thing that’s more than twice as energy dense as the others and up to three times more dense than protein because of its TEF (thermal effect…a metabolic heat wasting inefficiency…where the true, highly touted “metabolic advantage” exists).
Nothing ever proposed in dietary wooo is more fucktarded in my view. It’s enough to make a raw vegan skeleton blush.
So, what’s this “fat adaptation” all about, then? Well, it’s easy to get desperate folks to believe there’s something to it because so many conveniently feel badly when starting on this abomination so they think “I’m not fat adapted.” I. NEED. TO. GET. FAT. ADAPTED. INSTANTER!
This is a vicious and outright lie. Our bodies are masters at handling dietary fat, fat storage, and body-fat enlistment.
So, then, what is it you’re truly getting adapted to? Grasshoppers: you’re adapting to glucose starvation! It’s not pretty for a good reason. It’s not supposed to be a primary pathway. It’s a backup pathway, to keep you alive and out of a coma when there’s not enough food of any kind.
Don’t take this to mean I’m anti-low-carb or Keto. I am myself LC by Atkins’ original standard: <120g. Hilariously, I recently averaged out my food log over two months and even though I’ll have 200-300g carb days, on average, it comes out to 119g daily. Ha!
And I was just in true ketosis for a full day. By true ketosis, I mean that every ketone was from body fat. How do I know that? Because I ingested zero calories for 39 hours. By contrast, in fake ketosis, you eat a lot of fat or drink ketones, and the more you eat high-calorie fat or drink high-calorie ketones to energy excess, you’ll have the great comforting comfort of your measuring device LCD screens.
And just remember: “It’s not a Weight Loss Journey, it’s a Ketone Gain Story!”
In the end, the Ketoshysters want you to eat more fat at the expense of actual nutrition (fat has almost zero vitamins/minerals) because by doing that you “burn more fat;” and just look at your measuring devices! Ketones!! And they’ll even sell you ketones to drink so that you can look at your measuring devices and say “yep, there’s Ketones in them there $40 bags!!!”
None of this has fuckall to do with metabolizing body fat. It has everything to do with despicable Ketoshysters making money off your misfortune and ignorance.
Don’t despair too much, though. That marketing hype-stuff is clearly over the top and it just must have to make even the most ardent Ketofan blush. Or, perhaps not.
At least there are honest docs out there. You can’t imagine anyone who could capitalize more off the Ketogenic Diet Craze than Dr. Richard K. Bernstein, Type 1 diabetic since age 12, now 83. A lifetime spent managing a disease that’s notorious for killing bad and early. An engineer, and then an MD because nobody would take his glucose management ideas seriously. He’s been genuinely helping those who’ve been willing to put forth the effort, for decades.
Tired of paying for probiotics that do nothing, because they aren’t engineered to do anything? Then learn about a dose engineered to make it all the way through to your colon, and then deal directly with the engineer and manufacturer.
Take 2 minutes to listen to his dose of sanity in a sea of opportunistic hype.
…I used the term KetoCon, above. Of course there’s a KetoCon! Who didn’t know that? There’s also an upcoming conference on Keto.
So, looking over the whole program on the promotional website, I see not one scintilla of a hint that there will be a single mention of portion, or energy, or caloric, or ANY sort of control or discipline whatsoever, with a single exception: Carole Freeman – “The secret life of carb cravings: Learn what really causes them to get rid of them forever.”
Well, gluttony causes them, for one. Also, being “evangelized” into KetoChurch (yea, Ketovangelist is a co-sponsor, along with Jimmy “Health Through Morbid Obesity” Moore)—kinda like being “Born Again,” where Magic Words save your soul—could sure promote continued food…uh…carb cravings. And why not? Sins don’t count, and salvation is through hope and faith, not by works—much like a Keto diet. There will be forgiveness and redemption.
Here’s one presentation in which you’re sure to not find a single thing about overeating in general, overeating energy dense fat, failing to account for energy balance, or consuming insufficient protein, such that you have no natural satiation signals: Brian Williamson – “Why you fail (and how to fix it).” Let me guess: too much carbohydrate, probably too much protein, and for sure not enough fat. This is a bizarre world where a cheat day is having 80/20 ground beef instead of 20/80. A lean skinless chicken breast is not a cheat. Right there, you just go straight to hell.
While I’m sure there will be some decent, good, and valuable information flow from time to time—just avoid listening to Nora Gedgaudas say the same thing again for the forevereth time—I still think KetoCon is most aptly named.
Have you attained the status of Keto Master yet, for only two easy payments of $5,997 over the next year? You have? Well, good. Then it’s time you went straight ahead and got yourself the Keys to the Whole Darn Keto Kingdom.
While all of the foregoing is rather sobering if you stop to think about the potential misery—like that poor, duped person asking Dr. Bernstein how after two years with measurable, elevated ketones, he or she can’t lose weight—it gets worse. you now have many of these cheerleaders and promoters out there suggesting that ketones starve cancer and whatnot, harkening back to the days where I was simplistically fooled, too. Warburg. Sugar feeds cancer. Cancer can only survive on glucose. Etc. Turns out it’s far more complex than that, and there are even certain cancers, such as breast cancer, that love ketones, so tumors grow and metastasize faster: Assessing the Role of the Ketogenic Diet as a Metabolic Therapy in Cancer: Is it Evidence Based? (Chad Macias; Tim Sharpe)
And lately, I’m wondering when the first infant is going to die on the Butter and MCT Oil Diet. Will the Ketofans give themselves a pass, just as they do for the vegans who starve their infants to death?
Be smarter than that. Then spread the word. There are tens of thousands of victims out there and it’s a growing list. They need your helpful exposure of this KetoCon.
Visit My New Facebook Group: “Richard Nikoley’s Ketotard Chronicles“
Or, just keep on telling yourselves The Story. And what a “story” it is indeed.