The Swagger #22 — Sunday Come to Jesus

Greetings from poolside, Pattaya on what’s for me, a Sunday afternoon. I’ve always liked spending time at the pool and, truth be told, more so than the beach. Generally. Lots of reasons. Some exceptions.

The heat has been stifling, so there’s been that reason to spend more time at the pool. The other has been real-life socializing. Since I don’t really frequent bars anymore, I’m in face-to-face contact with fewer people. Plus, it doesn’t take much effort to raise the bar over what you’ll find at the bar in terms of quality interaction.

Most recently, I’ve been chatting a lot with three American expat entrepreneurs who’ve landed here in Thailand and, as coincidence would have it, also live on the same floor. Tony, James, and Joshua, three ex-Army dudes from Georgia in their late 30s, I’d estimate. Being ex-Army and having done their tours here and there, they figured out the Thai-chick scene on their own soon enough. Let’s just say they’re having a good time. Duh. They all want to start businesses here. All are quite sharp and thoughtful. Yea, they’re also black Americans. Why that’s something to even point out, I don’t know. Irrelevant factoid.

It’s not New York, London, or Paris, I know. But that pool (with adjoining gym) and my spacious studio on the 10th floor with a wide angle, open view of the surroundings, is the best I can do on $270 per month. Not a typo. If only they had “free” healthcare, pestering and hassling “crime prevention” services to make chick and beta-male voters feel safe and secure, and other “essential services” like worker’s compensation and unemployment “insurance,” it’d surely be worth the $2,700 I might pay per month in…New York, London, or Paris. Not a typo.

If the topic of International Living and Geoarbitrage interests you further, I blog on that topic at FreeTheAnimal.com.

For Thursday’s 21st Edition of The Swagger, I got so deep into the issue of the new crazy, near magical fat loss peptides, that I went way long and was way late getting it out, and that was with canning the 3rd section.

Make All Your Online Useful To You Again. It has been about 30 years since us early adopters got an IBM clone PC, a modem, internet connection, and got online. It was amazing. Then the rest of the world started showing up and now, 3 decades later, simple measures to stem the tide are called for and can help a lot. Don’t withdraw. Engage with useful purpose.

So here we go with that. Actionable. Useful. Also: neither nice nor careful, but those things are for losers. You’re not a loser, are you?

1. Introduction
2. The Value of Effort Online: Engage with Purpose and Precision
3. Evaluating Online Interactions
4. Email as a Tool for Meaningful Exchange
5. On The Personal Side: Making Text Messaging Work For You
6. Handling Low-Effort Individuals Online

… One little additional tidbit first, because some folks have been asking “how’s it going?” Snapped yesterday.

Make All Your Online Useful To You Again

Introduction

I was an early adopter of both PCs and the internet. I acquired my first PC in the early 1990s, and by 1993, I was online with accounts at America Online, Prodigy, and various BBS dial-ups. What characterized those early days, now more than 30 years ago, is that early adopters of computers and those who navigated the hurdles to get online were probably above average intelligence. It was not uncommon to find people who could express themselves very adequately and thoroughly. This seemed somewhat normal because, in real life, people were used to corresponding via what became known as snail mail. The effort required meant that letters were typically something people put a good amount of effort into, and this carried over into the online world. The effort, expense, and time involved, coupled with the obvious permanent record of having something on paper, meant that people invested significantly more effort into their communications. As a result, the quality was evident.

Initially, if someone was going to write something to you online, they felt obligated to make it a complete message, just as they would if they wrote you a letter. However, this changed when it became easy enough for anyone to get online. Suddenly, those who were not avid readers or writers of letters, or who were barely able to express themselves in writing in any form, flooded the online world. And, frankly, it’s quite a mess. You can dismiss the trolls; they’re just throwing shit all over the place purposefully. What’s more annoying are all the people who would have never sent a thoughtful letter on paper. They contribute with one-word, two-word, or one short sentence replies and think they’ve added value to the dialogue.

My classic touchstone for this—the worst of the lot—occurs when you look at people who, in response to a detailed account of an accident, misfortune, serious personal problem, even a death or serious illness, leave comments like “prayers” or “praying.” Here you have the laziest, most low-effort, zero-effort thing in the world, pretending to invoke the highest value by invoking the creator of the universe. It’s utterly ridiculous. These are the people you should dismiss right off the bat. Never deal with them online in any capacity whatsoever. You’ll save yourself a lot of time, effort, and frustration.

And if you think about how many times you’ve seen that and how prevalent it is, you’ve just made your first cut by eliminating 80% of candidates right off the bat.

The Value of Effort Online: Engage with Purpose and Precision

You have to be online. Engage online. Write online. That’s the stark reality of today’s world. Adapt or remain disconnected. The choice is stark, clear, and entirely yours.

If participation in the digital realm is your goal, then approach it with a strategy that transcends mere presence. It’s not just about being online—it’s about maximizing the impact of your time online to further your goals, ambitions, and aspirations. This demands purpose, discernment, and a robust filtering mechanism to ensure you’re not just aimlessly drifting through the digital noise.

Consider setting a clear agenda. What is your objective? Is it networking for professional growth, entrepreneurial ventures, or personal connections? Define it. The online world isn’t just another marketplace; it’s a potent tool that, if wielded with precision and intent, can yield substantial results.

Gone are the days of waiting weeks for a letter. Today, you can exchange a flurry of emails within hours, each one potentially moving you closer to your goals—if, and only if, both parties are engaged and adding value to the conversation. This rapid exchange isn’t just about speed; it’s about leveraging that speed to cut through the mundane and achieve significant, tangible outcomes.

Think of every online interaction as a potential step forward in your journey. Engage thoughtfully, with effort and a clear purpose. Add value to every exchange. In doing so, you transform the digital landscape from a vast ocean of anonymity into a focused beam of opportunity.

Remember, the power of the digital age lies not in its ubiquity but in how effectively you use it to propel yourself and your endeavors forward. Engage with purpose.

Evaluating Online Interactions

Because we’re human beings, equipped typically with five senses, our real-world interactions are richly layered. Communication isn’t merely about words; it’s constructed from a complex tapestry of body language, facial expressions, tone of voice, and even the direction of our gaze. There’s an undeniable presence of subtleties—fidgeting, the way eyes might dart away or bore intensely. All these elements are integral to communication.

When you transition to online platforms, you sever a significant portion of this communicative nuance, relying solely on text. Yes, advancements like voice and video calls exist and they do enhance interaction, but let’s focus on purely textual communication for now. The difference is stark. It’s imperative, then, to establish criteria to gauge the value of these digital exchanges.

For me, the primary filter—I like things that cut through nonsense swiftly—is the usage of email. If you’re not using email, you’re off the radar immediately. 80% are cut off right there. These are the “text-only” people. Do I text? Yes, but typically those with whom I began communication via email. We might shift to texts for quick updates because a foundation of mutual understanding and value exchange has been established.

Now, consider someone who says, “I don’t use email,” or any such nonsense. You’re dismissed. Instantly. Especially if it’s business or anything of gravity. This criterion alone eliminates a lot of meaningless fluff.

Let’s talk about email. In an era where digital communication has been normative for over three decades, inability to construct coherent emails is a glaring red flag. It’s not just about sending messages; it’s about engaging with a certain level of effort and intellect. Email demands more than basic literacy; it requires a capacity to convey thoughts comprehensively.

Use texts strategically. Coordinate calls, video chats, in-person meetings, or substantive email exchanges. And when you receive a reply that’s a lazy “sounds good” with no further elaboration? Red flag. It’s superficial, effortless.

This isn’t about labeling people as ‘bad’. It’s about recognizing that your time is limited. Spend it engaging with those who bring conscientiousness, effort, and value to the table. Seek out interactions that are enriching, where both parties are invested in adding depth and perspective to the dialogue.

In summary, online communication stripped of non-verbal cues demands stringent filters. Establish high standards for engagement to ensure your interactions are meaningful. Time is precious—spend it wisely, with individuals who recognize and respect that.

Email as a Tool for Meaningful Exchange

Email is the quintessential tool for conducting business online. It transcends simple written communication by enabling the inclusion or attachment of photos, videos, files, and documents. You can also embed links to these resources directly within the message, streamlining the exchange of information. Email, when used adeptly, enhances productivity in a professional and comprehensive manner.

One cardinal rule for handling significant emails is to let them marinate. Treat them as you would a physical letter: draft, review, and edit. This practice is crucial, especially in a business context where emotions must be sidelined. Aim for a tone akin to that of a judge penning a legal opinion—direct yet devoid of emotional bias.

Establish a routine: sift through your inbox each morning and identify critical communications. Draft your responses—whether typed or dictated—and then let them sit. This pause is vital. More often than not, returning to a draft after some reflection will reveal necessary tweaks and improvements. This process underscores the importance of allowing your drafts to “season.”

Additionally, ensure that your response is comprehensive. Reread the original inquiry to verify that all points have been addressed. It’s easy to fixate on the most glaring issues and overlook minor yet relevant details. Addressing these effectively can prevent future correspondence on the same issues, thereby saving time and effort.

On The Personal Side: Making Text Messaging Work For You

Now, let’s address the personal communications dilemma, specifically concerning text messaging. It’s a precarious medium for anything of substance. Texting, while unavoidable in the sphere of personal interactions—especially with those who shun email—demands caution. It’s too easy to miscommunicate, to misunderstand, and yes, to detonate relationships sometimes beyond repair. I’ve learned this the hard way.

Email lends itself to thoroughness, completeness, deliberation, and some degree of polish. However, when confined to texting, keep it succinct. Offer brief responses like “Yes,” “Maybe,” “We’ll see,” “It’s up to you,” or “Let’s talk about it.” These are not evasions but steering mechanisms toward richer, more effective communication modes—voice, video, or in-person meetings.

In my recent personal experiences, particularly in the dating scene here in Thailand, I’ve vastly improved the quality of my interactions by restricting myself to brief text exchanges. This is doubly crucial when dealing with non-native English speakers, where the risk of miscommunication skyrockets. Keep it brief. Keep it to the point. Aim to elevate the conversation to a more personal, more engaging level. It will transform your interactions.

Handling Low-Effort Individuals Online

In the digital realm, you occasionally encounter individuals whose online presence might not immediately resonate with you due to various reasons—be it immaturity, lack of clarity, or simply a different manner of expression. However, dismissing them outright might not always be the best course of action, especially if there are underlying qualities that merit engagement.

For whatever reason, you don’t wish to dismiss them outright as low-effort individuals. Some suggestions then.

1. Be Nice. Start with civility. It’s fundamental.
2. Ask Questions
   • “What do you mean?”
   • “Could you clarify—did you mean this or that?”
   • “I’m not sure I understand. Could you elaborate?”
   • “That doesn’t feel right to me. Can you explain further?”

This approach encourages the other party to invest more thought into the conversation, fostering a more meaningful exchange. Rather than dictating what they should think or do, you’re inviting them to open up and elaborate. This enhances understanding and respects their agency to articulate their perspective.

Handling online interactions with tact and probing curiosity can transform seemingly low-effort exchanges into opportunities for genuine connection and understanding. Be relentless in your pursuit of clarity and truth, but do so with respect for the individuality and potential of your interlocutors.

Meet me back here on Tuesday for another edition of The Swagger. I seem to be back on schedule, so check up to see if I can actually publish and distribute by Tuesday morning NYC time.