Transparency in all things is paramount

In This Loaded Issue of Thailand Confidential (4,860 Words):

• Transparency
• Testosterone Update
• Story: Wolfgang The Army Colonel
• Coffee Update (+ Free Download)
• Boozing Again After Two Dry Years, and Why?
• Chili and Wasabi Girls; Road Trip Visit and Update (+ Photos and Video)
• Road Trip Continues: Mukdahan Province, Nikhom Kham Soi Village, Mekong River, Laos (+ Photos and Video)
• The Girl Far (headline image) and Her Curious Lakeside Neighborhood (+ Photos and Video)
• Far’s Friend Na, The “Threesome” Partner (+ Photos and Video)
• The “Sexpat” and Transactional Relationship Nature of Pattaya, Thailand and the Girls! (+ Free Download, and Much More)
• The Perfect Move

Some years ago—it’s gotta be at least ten—I downloaded a book, “Say Everything.” I don’t even recall who wrote it. I believe it became somewhat popular and was penned by one of the earlier successful bloggers. It was essentially about building a following based on complete transparency.

This guy went way overboard use your imagination. Not only are there some things you don’t need to talk about and reveal on a personal level; but also, people really don’t want to hear about them—even if they do those things themselves. In fact, especially if they do those things themselves. But this guy made it his work, or his message, to preach this principle of hyper-transparency.

I didn’t even finish the book. I read just enough to get the gist of it and moved on. I had already been practicing some of those principles, but it served as a bit of reinforcement…or confirming my bias, you could say. If you’re going to be in this business—not just commentary about what’s happening in the world, but whatever niche you’re operating from, whatever it may be—you need to come off as honest.

This doesn’t mean you won’t exaggerate sometimes. It doesn’t mean you’re not full of shit and hyperbole at times. We’re human; everyone does that. But here’s one cool thing about hyper-transparency, and I’ve always said this: when people get upset about the shit I write, my response is, “Well, at least you know I’m not lying to you.”

It’s amazing how many people want to be lied to and how often. Most people spend a good chunk of their lives clamoring to be lied to. It’s a comforting external authority of absolution. Don’t worry. You’re OK.

But I do the safe harbor: saying or revealing things, especially on a personal level, that people don’t normally do. If there’s no hidden agenda apparent and in play, it’s just like, “Here, I’m putting this out there.” It then goes to integrity. For me, long-term policy is fully integrated honesty and integrity. I’m not perfect; I’ll never be perfect. But I can always try to be a little bit less imperfect every day, a little bit better at what I do every day, and just let the chips fall where they may.

Let’s begin with the biggest reveals.

Item Number One. I dropped my Testosterone Enanthate (TRT) from 300mg in 2, 150mg injections to 150mg in 3, 50mg injections per week. Mucho better. In scanning research and anecdote, a bit too much can get you CNS overload and that’s probably why I have been hyperactive bouncing off walls for 6 months or so. Great when you’re 20-sumthin, though, chasing 20-sumthin chicks.

At 63 chasing 20-sumthin chicks? Well, I’m here to tell you that T is magic and young-chic-chasing can be done very effectively. A lot. Use your imagination. I think I know why natural evolution programmed a diminishment in T as you age. “Give the young and dumb a chance with the gals.” Because, I can tell you that even with the 18-year-old chicks, most young guys cannot compete with an in-shape old dude if she is just a bit maverick herself. Sure, most will not and cannot entertain the idea. But when she can…?

There are way more than enough who can.

Pattaya, Thailand is a unique place on planet earth. Thousands upon thousands of late teen and early 20 girls who will tell you flat out: “I only go with old man.”

Why? Always one word: experience. Use your imagination, but it’s not only where your mind goes first. It’s fucking everything. Male, manly, masculine competence is the quintessential aphrodisiac for young women. That’s why they’re the gatekeepers of who impregnates them—it’s also why they love their grandfathers the most. You would not believe how many half-breed munchkins you can find in Thailand with fathers of grandfather and great-grandfather age.

Again, I could help, but so far, not a single booking. I think it’s just an entirely different breed of male. The ones who end up here are simply self-agency superstars who do not and cannot give much of a fuck about what others think of them (because that’s none of our business). They’ll learn the ropes themselves. Don’t need me. The ones I could help? Zero courage anyway, only wistful yearning and idle masturbatory, cuckold-like daydreaming, combined with fear and whatever. Not men, much.

I leave up that download for effect, not as anything viable and at this point…wouldn’t charge a guy anyway—if he could get his pathetic pussy-ass out here and adventure a little bit. He’ll be buying my drinks and bar fines, though.

… Let me tell you about my newest friend here at the condo complex where I live. His name is Wolfgang. He’s about 58 years old, so a few years younger than I am. He’s a colonel in the Austrian Army. He handles special missions six months per year, and he’s been coming here since he was 17 years old. I came here first in my mid-20s, so roughly the same time period in the late 1980s originally and oh, my, how we can reminisce while enjoying the condo pool! This place has a grip on him, as it does me; he never misses a year.

Wolfgang is setting himself up for retirement. He buys a condo every year, one of those you can snag for about $30,000-50,000 USD. He saves up, buys a condo, and then rents it out. He’s been doing this for a few years now and plans to keep at it for another decade. When he finally retires, he’ll have his military pension and rental income to fall back on. Smart move.

The guy is a real character. Picture Arnold Schwarzenegger—handsome, fit, military discipline. Yesterday, he told me he’s had about 100 different Thai gals—five per week, never the same one twice—this year alone. Each year, he says, it gets better and better, as he gets older. See what I mean, old dudes? He’s funny in his own way: rigid with his routines like a true German. You can set your watch by his daily schedule.

So there you have it, my newest friend Wolfgang. Just thought I’d give you an anecdote.

Item Number Two. I drastically cut back on my coffee intake, which had reached insane levels over the last couple of years. This madness started when I dropped alcohol and was only recently fueled further by Anthony Colpo’s five-week stint in Pattaya living in my same condo complex and hitting the same gym. During that time, he introduced me to a regimen where you significantly reduce your fluid intake.

There’s a free download that discusses this in the context of heartburn and indigestion after meals (note: Dr. Michael Eades and Mark Sisson agree, both practice it, and I’ve bantered with both of them about it…so in case your pathetic “brains” need authority figures to do fucking anything…).

One of the recommendations, courtesy Colpo, is to opt for espresso over drip coffee or an Americano, which I had been drinking. Now, I drink espresso exclusively, but like a million shots a day. Combine that with high testosterone levels and the caffeine, and I was bouncing off the walls that I was burning at both ends.

Everyone has a bad night occasionally, but generally, I always slept well. That changed over the last couple of years. Cutting back on coffee might not hold a lot of value for most of you because you probably don’t consume caffeine at my insane levels. It does make a difference when you regularly inject that much caffeine into your system throughout the day though.

Is it harmful? Maybe, maybe not. Could it be beneficial? Who knows? Coffee lovers will point to studies claiming coffee is beneficial, and that bias is understandable. We love our coffee.

Item Number Three. You might be gobsmacked, but I’m a drinker again. Yep, it happened about a week ago. I was approaching the two-year mark of zero alcohol—would’ve been August 7 this year. I quit and didn’t touch a drop. Almost slipped once, though. Visited a previous-fling bartender I’ve known for years, bought her a drink. I was drinking soda water. She drinks vodka and soda, so our glasses looked the same. I mistakenly took hers up and sipped. Realized it was booze. Could’ve swallowed it. Didn’t. Spit it right out. Not a single cheat.

I decided on a different path. I’ve had four bottles of booze under my sink for months and beer in the fridge for the girls (Thai girls are beer drinkers), never gave it a second thought. Then, in the pool one day, I thought, “I’m coming up on two years. What the hell.” And there it was. Some days into a mild bender as I dictate this. And yeah, the foregoing sections here? Low-level inebriation.

Better? Worse?

Why did I do it? Simple.

Life was getting too boring.

Now, you might say, “How can life be boring with all that sexual activity, especially at your age, with young girls?” I get it. But even that can get boring if it’s not framed correctly. And I was having trouble with that. Not talking about sloppy drunk nonsense. Just a bit festive, letting my guard down. Not being constantly disciplined.

When I’m sober, I’m stoic and disciplined. No bullshit. No banality. Pretty dull guy. I could see it was disappointing some of the women I’m with. They appreciate me, sure. But all the women I know are drinkers. Not drunks, just drinkers. Felt a bit of disappointment from them. So I thought, “Let me try this. Can I control it?” So far, so good. We’ll see how it goes.

But I know I can quit again if I have to. Went nearly two years without a drop. Quit on a dime. If I can’t manage it, I’ll do it again. Suck it up. Be the completely boring dude who’s never the life of the party. Because alcohol exists for a reason. It’s a social lubricant. Helps us build deeper connections. Ultimately, it’s not about the sex; it’s about the emotional connection. I’ll speak to that aspect a bit more later.

For the moment, I believe you will find this a net benefit. Booze always makes for better writing, ultimately. Just keep it real.

… The image of myself showcasing Chili and Wasabi behind me is from a recent post where I did a road trip in Thailand. I traveled from Pattaya up to Si Sa Ket Province, where I previously built a home for these two girls and their mother. I drove up there, took them shopping, took them out to dinner, spent the evening in a hotel, and then headed off the next day on the second leg of the journey.

The original post was for members only and will stay that way for about 90 days longer. However, I’m now releasing the video behind it—a one-hour long video—in this post. The first part of the video covers the initial leg of the journey, and the second part is the drive from Si Sa Ket up to Mukdahan Province.

Guys, you’ll likely appreciate the second part where I discuss infrastructure development in Thailand, including roads and other details. Women, you’ll probably enjoy the first part about the girls.

Many people are aware of my several-year-long relationship with their mother, Yui, and how I built a house out there, trying to make something work. The problem was simple: I loved the two girls, but I “hated” their mother. That’s just the way things go sometimes.

At my age, around 61 or 62 at the time, I thought I could suck it up for the sake of these girls. I really did. I was ready to devote my life to them because they are incredible. I call them angels. In the four years I’ve known them, from when they were 10 and 9 years old to now, at 14 and 13, they have never said a cross word to me. They are the best people I’ve ever known. I love them to death.

I was so frustrated and angry with their mother, who is 32 years my junior. There were probably many reasons it didn’t work out perfectly. Ultimately, I had to deal with the reality that I wasn’t going to harbor any resentment. She did a lot of damage, not emotionally—because that’s impossible—but financially. That’s a very common story in Thailand. People don’t understand that your motivations are not about being weak; it’s typically about the kids. That’s what happened to me.

It was also during COVID-19, and everyone was screwed in 2020. I didn’t expect the whole situation to last as long as it did. Long story short, I have no interest in their mother, but I have made peace with her so that I can have access to Chili and Wasabi. These two delightful girls deserve some measure of influence in their lives, and maybe I can help steer their course a little better, particularly in learning English. Their eventual job opportunities will be far wider and with much more earning potential if they are skilled in English. That’s really my primary goal at this point.

Yui sent me those photos yesterday. Wasabi, ever the tomboy, is enamored of my newfound musculature and that’s how she expresses it. As for Chili, I immediately replied to mom: “lock her up!” You think I don’t possess that protective instinct? We’ve all been there. We know what happens.

So, here’s that video. I think it’s worth your watch on many levels of inquiry.

I’m not quite sure how to frame the second video. It’s me out in the extreme northeast of Thailand, Mukdahan Province, right on the border of Laos, across the Mekong River. Actually, about 30 kilometers south of that, in a village called Nikhom Kham Soi, which is near a reservoir. It’s a very interesting place—almost like a resort area, very festive. The whole neighborhood around this part of the reservoir, which has been there for a long time, exudes a lively and celebratory atmosphere.

I take you around the neighborhood in the video. An intriguing aspect of this area is that foreigners have lived there for a long time. Picture this: everyone thinks of the stereotypical “sexpat” who goes to Thailand for the girls, right? Well, a hefty percentage of these guys either move their girls back to their home village and support them while continuing to work and visiting Thailand as they can, or they are already retired. They move up here, build a house, take care of their partners, and become fixtures in the neighborhood—some even volunteering with Thai immigration and police to assist with any problems involving foreigners. They look after the kids—in many cases, they have their own kids—and live there for 10 or 20 years and more.

This video captures part of that life.

The girl I’m with, Far, has grown up seeing foreigners in this context. She was with one herself for seven years—an Englishman—and she has a son by him, who is now 11 or 12 years old. Her experience with foreigners is as husbands, boyfriends, caretakers, not at all or a little bit as transient sex tourists in places like Pattaya—though that’s pretty certain how they all started. She has a different level of experience, empathy, and respect. She treats us like human beings, not objects.

This is the difference between her and one of her best friends, Na, which means “the rain” because it was raining the day she was born. There’s a tantalizing history to this, which I will explain after you watch the video.

Here’s Far’s friend, Na and I, a month or so ago.

Who exactly is Na? She’s a very high-end transactional girl. What do I mean by that? Well, she worked for Toyota Japan in parts management—about twelve years, and they paid her for her work and she had 50 underlings. While giving birth to their third child, her daughter, who is now eleven, she got a call on her phone while in recovery. It was from the woman her then-husband and co-worker had been sleeping with for the last year while she was pregnant.

It didn’t go over well. Even to this day, she emphasizes he was a good man, but it was not her style to be disrespected like that. She separated for three months, decided she could live without him. Moved on. This was in her early thirties. She bid her time and, for reasons perhaps about the death of her father, decided that she was going to go to Pattaya and make a lot of money being a high-end transactional girl about 5 years ago, right before Covid, which makes her success all the more remarkable.

You can use that other word if it makes you feel righteous (she’s actually more frank: “I sell pussy”), but you use it to elevate yourself above her, and that synthesis may not hold true. She knew what she wanted. She had a good idea of what she could do. She told me the story of her beginnings here the first night I met her…at a 7-Eleven…in the latter part of October—seven or eight months ago now. She told me of the first time she went out to complete a transaction by means of a dating-app connection.

It took her going to his hotel four successive nights, and she was unable to seal it the first three times. She cried, instead. But she had happened upon a very gentlemanly Swede who gave her the money anyway, sent her away, and told her to come back the next night. He did this for three successive nights, until the fourth time, when he gently told her she’s going to have to “shit or get off the pot.” She finally became a pro.

Fast forward five years, and she has built quite an empire for herself. She only deals with Western European elderly and well-established men who come to Thailand two or three times a year on holiday—never deals with expat residents, I’m her single exception (much to her chagrin, but I’m a force of nature LOL). They’re here for a week or two and give her crazy money to spend time with them during their stay. In her own way, she “loves” them all and has never said a bad word about any of them (quite to the contrary). She chooses pretty wisely. Not hyper-weak pussy-boys (though that’s what I call them when talking to her), just weak enough, and with enough money to not give a shit.

In those first few months I saw her, she was mostly booked solid because it was the November-February high-season holiday and her “friends” were stacked up like airliners on approach to JFK. The first night with me, she tells me: “When my friend come I do not go out, so I cannot see you.” Then she gives me rough dates of when she can. “I never do that. Some girls go short time with others if free time, but I never.”

Understand something. When a chick (or, perhaps, a human) uses the word “never” and it’s volunteered information, not asked for, it means: “I do, but I wish I didn’t” (so help me believe I don’t, even though I do).

Bank on that.

Within 2 weeks of telling me that, she made some excuse to come over for a round when staying with a long-time customer, a rich Israeli man who she subsequently dropped because he was getting too attached and weepy and marriage proposals yada yada.

Next up, the German drinker. She adores him because he’s so nonchalant. “Go do what you want, but when I call, you come immediately.” After the 2nd or 3rd time she’d been over while in his charge, she hit me up again and I said sure, come on over. She was in her hyper-horny mood and she never fakes that. How do I know? Because when she’s not, she never fakes that either. Duh simple pimple. But very quickly she reneged. She got a text from him to present. No big for me, that’s Pattaya. “Know the terrain, have fun.” Never fucking complain like a butthurt pussy.

The rub? Reportage next day from Na upon her usual morning greeting, which goes: “Good morning my big man. With you, a nice day.” And then, “He only want to drink last night. No sex. I want to come over after your gym.” I mention that to dispel another convenient fallacy myth. The gals choose too. There are thousands of men to choose from. And if it’s about sex, why wouldn’t they choose where they at least get that level of satisfaction if it’s going to be absent the feelings?

Right now, she’s getting around $11,000 per month total and yes, I have seen the bank statements (we have a hyper-transparent honesty thing). That’s big money, even for the U.S. So, how does Richard Nikoley have anything to do with her? I’m not capable of paying to play at that level, nor would I pay to play at that level anyway. Yes, I give her play money (literally: she plays gambling apps with it), but it’s not any money she needs or requires. She only has 5 clients. She spends a total of 10-12 weeks per year entertaining and escorting them. They all send her money monthly. They all know they are 1 of 5 clients. They all know about me. They still send her money. She is really that good, and the sex is just one facet of it.

She plays it fucking straight, 100% genuine, no bullshit ever. And that, my friends, is why I call her My Kryptonite.

What’s the sauce? Well, she’s also a pig farmer in Buriram, bought a beautiful house cash from a German expat in December last, and has just finished putting her second son through college. The pig farm does 100 at a time, 4 cycles a year from piglet to slaughter. It’s about $40k gross each sale.

… It’s not like we don’t have our rough spots, though.

I always operate on the principle that love and hate are two sides of the same coin of passion or engagement. I can always work with either.

I hammer it home that you can always work with either, and you should be a member here to acquire that finesse alone…

The backstory is that this is part of a dispute that goes on for a few days previous about some inconsistencies. I pointed out a stark one and it hit a nerve. Generally, she doesn’t lie to me. When she lies to me, It’s because she hates that I’m smarter than her, more clever than her, and know more than her about everything (except maybe the pig and pussy business). She fucking hates it. She hates it so much that she’ll lie just to make herself look better, more adaptable, or whatever than me. And I call her on it. She often mocks me by calling me “the Guru,” LOL.

… At the time of this exchange a couple of days ago, she happened to be with her longest-term client; a rich, 52-year-old Swiss man. In addition to the money he lavishes her with when he’s here two or three times per year for a week or two (I’ve seen transactions upwards of 800,000 to 1 million baht), he pays the rent on her apartment and gives her about $3,000 per month.

… She doesn’t remember that she already used that “I’m getting married soon so you better become a slobbering weeper quick and we’ll see” …a few months back.

Yea, “it’s for reels this time,” though when pressed the next day, “soon” apparently means “in about a year.”

So, not actually getting married.

… In the chick-pursuit business, always be cognizant of saying too much too fast.

ALWAYS REMEMBER: say nothing is an option.

… Out of the blue, she messages at damn 07.30 yesterday morning. She wants to come over. She wants a gift. Such a gift (about $150) is not about the money, it’s about the definition and distinction of what the relationship is.

She’s careful and clever enough about asking me for money that I almost always say yes.

“I’ll be there in an hour.” Then she doesn’t show. At the point she’s 2 hours no-show, I take an action and receive an immediate response: “I’ll be there. Wait.”

It would be three more hours until she saunters her sexy ass in.

We get comfortable.

160cm, 5’2″, 48Kg, 106 pounds of fucking hot body. At 44 years old, an outlier with zero evidence of ever having a child, much less three of them (all imaginations applicable). An aside about those lips…she asks me one day:

“Why you look my mouth not eye?” (her dark eyes are stunning too, and her 11-year-old daughter has them)

“Because when you move your mouth in all your quirky expressions you do, it arouses me. Ergo, I naturally stare at your mouth.” (I have to explain all this shit via translate, of course)

Next day she makes a TikTok:

She’s a weird one, so outlier. I’m fine with that. She doesn’t care. Remind you of anyone?

But here’s what happens next, once she shows up…

“You have my gift?”

“I gave it to Far already for her house. I sent the screenshot to you.”

She checks her app, realizes what I’d done. She understood immediately what’s called the perfect move.

1. Could have just refused to give her any money (amateur and chick-like).
2. Could have said I’m using it for some choice 18-22-year-old gals (less than half her age) in my “likes me” folder and that gift could get me short times with three of them (puerile).
3. I gave it to her good friend Far, the one she brought over unannounced all those months ago, announcing, “Richard, this my friend Far and I want to watch you fuck her.” (what can she say?).

And I did so because I knew it would not harm their relationship. There’s just no animosity, competitiveness, resentment, nothing. Na has said to both of us many times (even though she’s the alpha-chick…”number one,” I call her) to get together alone any time we want. And she’s true to that. If she rings me up and asks what ya doin and I say Far’s here, she’ll either issue a thumbs up or ask if I want her to come over to join in…

In case you missed this story from before, this is neither lesbian nor bi. Watching and being watched turns them on, but in opposite ways. Na is a self-centered exhibitionist and Far is conservative, traditional, and reserved. So, the one gets off on the audacity of it and the other, the taboo of it.

Works both ways and the way the scorecard stacks up, is: advantage to the latter. Yep, the taboo strikes the mind-arousal circuits a bit better than does the exhibitionism. At least in their cases.

If I’m with either of them alone it’ll be a normal thing of them getting off once, twice, maybe three times. Fine. they’re done. Together? They keep score, LOL. The record is Far 9, Na 7.

As a guy, I can tell you that’s existentially unfair!

Probably a good thing, though. Think about what the world would be like if men were generally multiorgasmic?

… Na didn’t get angry, but she did become disagreeable. You know, that annoying chick-child behavior where everything is a fucking no.

So I told her to “fuck off” and she left without a word. I said it quietly. There was banter later on the message app. Pretty clear she knew she fucked up. Thais will almost never admit they did anything wrong…it’s that face-saving thing absent the hyper-degree of personal honor possessed by the Japanese that makes for a perfect union and explains why Thailand is and will remain relatively poor compared to the Japanese. To nutshell that for you, Thais fuck each over all the time because they know if the other party makes a big stink about it, it violates the “don’t talk bad” principle, making the victim the bad guy or gal. Nobody fucks over Thais more than their own friends and family do.

Here’s how she decides to make amends…

… And the saga shall continue with updates now and then for members. This was a freebie. Membership costs you the price of a couple of premium coffee drinks per month.

If you like my stuff and don’t make that small level of contribution, have you no honor?

If you don’t like my stuff, then why are you here, and why did you get this far reading? You’re not welcome here, and you clearly have no honor at all.