Tell Me When You Love That It Sucks So Bad

— Advanced Level “No-Pain-No-Gain” and “No-Regrets,” All In One

“This isn’t for the faint-hearted, sissies, weenies, wankers, or conformists—it’s for the courageous … those who carve their own path. The programmed need not apply.”

We’ve heard all the sayings.

They’re called “sayings” for a good reason. Because they aren’t done. So they aren’t “doings.”

… I’m just saying.

I was reading a thing last night about Hugh Jack[ed]man. He began the Wolverine role for X-Men when in his mid 30s and dedicated himself to looking the part for the better part of 15 years or so…through a ridiculous devotion to what I’m calling Physical Culture: Gym, Diet, Fasting (PC:GDF).

“It wasn’t until I came to a truce inside myself about the fact that my job rarely will be comfortable that I started to enjoy it more,” he says. “Like Wolverine. You want to get somewhere you’re not physically? It’s going to be uncomfortable. The end result is good, but it’s uncomfortable to change.”

Men’s Health

… I also liked another quote of his that I applauded, as it reflects my own attitude.

“I don’t set goals in life,” he says. “In this country, people are all about goal setting. And I concede, to a point, how it can help you get going. But we limit ourselves with goals. We have far more ability than we give ourselves credit for. You see that in people under pressure. How does someone run a 100-meter race at the Olympics? When it’s once every 4 years, with everything they’ve done leading to that? It can’t just be adrenaline.” Then he nods and smiles. “Maybe it’s just the mind getting out of the way”

Success Magazine

I think very short-term goals are appropriate, if you can even call them that. Get up and get busting it by 04.00. Get 200g of protein. Set at least 2 1RM records today. Achieve that 48-hr fast. Finish that e-book today. Stuff like that.

What are those—especially when they’re hard and uncomfortable, and a lot? They’re door openers, path pavers, and opportunity detectors.

But with long term goals, what happens if what you’re currently doing and achieving sheds light on a new path, and you want to pursue it? OK, so you change your goals, since the paths aren’t compatible…they don’t converge (they may be in totally different directions…you were going to be a software engineer, you ended up a sculptor).

Then why set the goals in the first place?

This is why I use the word “vision.” Envision where you’ll be, or only essential aspects of it. You can envision yourself very wealthy without any specifics about what you’ll actually do to get there, or what you’ll be doing when you do.

Goals necessarily need to be more concrete: you’re going to be CEO of a Fortune 500…whatever. Could even be more specific than that. Could be a specific company. You could even break it down into a series of goals representing the step-by-step to get there.

“Sounds like fun.”

You do what you want; but for me, it’s to envision myself situated…generally…like the vision of being a nomadic expat in the 2 years prior to leaving the USA in Jan of 2020…. Then I’m a complete freelancer as to get there and that path will look like that of a sidewinder.

In no way has this been a goal-driven approach and to this day, nearly 4 years later, I’m still just as able to shift gears and divert paths as I was in December 1919, when I closed on the house and the bank account joined my 60L backpack as my sole possessions.

But here’s the rub that took me up to now to figure out: You’ve got to make your life suck as much as possible to see that vision become reality. You can’t afford not to. Since you don’t have specific steps all laid out, you cover all bases for opportunities to present by making your life fucking suck so much you love it. I’m being hyperbolic with the word suck.

You get what I’m getting at?

… The newest thing here—I don’t know if I’ve even mentioned it yet—is that I dumped the member forum for a Discord server for a better community engagement experience (details here, scroll down). Night and day for a bunch of reasons…one is that I have Chatbot Zon integrated. It can be involved in any discussion. Amazing game changer.

But also just stuff like this…

So that’s the inspiration for the title.

And you know what?

What are the chances that after the 30-days (the longest month of his life) are up…what are the chances he’s going to say stuff like: it sucked, it was hard, brutal…excruciating…that he hated it?

Pretty good chances.

What are the chances he’s going to say he regrets doing it?


Do you get it, yet?

You see, the crazy thing about that program is not so much that you can physically transform in some measure…there are lots of programs/diets.

The crazy thing about that program was the mental transformation, for me. At that point where I loved that it sucked so bad…where I knew with absolute certainly that I would complete it…and if I broke an arm I’d complete it one-armed…I knew I would never be the same.

And the key to it all is that part right up there.

… Because no matter how hard you make shit on yourself and see it all through every damn day, you never have any regrets, and having no regrets is the biggest freedom I’ve ever felt.

You leave yourself with literally nothing to feel guilty about.

And you know what else?

Every decision about anything you can think of, that used to be so hard you avoided making them?

They become effortless.


Because your new life is a life of true no regrets, and busting ass with everything that sucks and embracing that and seeing it out is your license and ticket to entry into the guiltless, no-regret lifestyle.

Plus, you create some really great stories when you make really hard but decisive moves with no trepidation, no fear, no regrets…

Since Covid killed my Cabo San Lucas vacation-rental business in 2021, this is my day job. I can't do it without you. Memberships are $10 monthly, $20 quarterly, or $65 annually. Two premium coffees per month. Every membership helps finance this work I do, and if you like what I do, please chip in. No grandiose pitches.

Leave a Comment

You must be logged in to post a comment.