The Intersection Between Cats, Farts, and ChatGPT

July 23, 2023|Richard Nikoley|Comments Off on The Intersection Between Cats, Farts, and ChatGPT|

— Two Fart Jokes For Your Amusement

What a Week

Today is a different kind of Saturday. Everything I’ve been publishing here is exclusively for members, a strategy that’s attracting fresh subscribers and filtering out the non-committal ones.

I’ll elaborate, if only for the sake of transparency. Better you have a clear understanding. Right? 

On one side, we have those who are indecisive about membership, and that’s okay. I’m interested in you if you’re open to considering membership. Otherwise, not really.

On the other side, there are those who have no intention of subscribing, ever. The answer is nope. By making all blog content members-only, I’m nudging both groups to make a decision. Why remain on the email list, receiving updates several times a week about paywalled posts, if you have no intention of becoming a member?

This new approach is proving successful. It’s encouraging the undecided to take the plunge and subscribe, while those not interested choose to unsubscribe from the email list, which is a positive outcome. You’re wasting your time and electrons if becoming a member is out of the question. Unsubscribe. Each unsubscribe is my victory.

Hand me that victory, please.

I’m also seeing a refreshing influx of new email-list subscribers daily, a trend that’s been consistent for a while, since instituting the free downloads. That has been huge. New blood every day. Most will have no interest beyond the download they snagged. But a small percentage will, and that simply needs to be scaled.

Among these new subscribers, some are committed to membership right from the start, or soon, which is great. Then there are those who are unsure, those who are still evaluating. For those, I feel the need to offer a little something.

So, here’s what I’m doing for the first time, right here. 

This particular post will be the first of its kind.

It will be a standard post on the blog for members-only, paywall and all. But, I’m also sending the entire post via email, to all 5000 of you. So, if you’re reading this from your email inbox, you’re getting the full scoop this Saturday.

Before my cat, fart, and ChatGPT story, I want to delve into the events of the week. What. A. Week.

I’ve been fully engrossed in my 30-day, high-volume workout program called SHRED30. Every day in the gym, I push myself with more sets, more reps, all in a bid to bulk up, plus ditch some fat.

I must say, I’m quite impressed with the results so far. I was gifted with the genes to pack on lean tissue rapidly, given very high protein intake and sufficient training volume on a daily basis.

I get lots of “well I do this,” or, “I do that,” “and…”

Good for you. I don’t give a fuck.

I’ve been documenting my journey in a series of posts, but it’s not only about this program.

It’s every damn thing. Just over this last week, Saturday-Saturday, I managed to churn out nine posts in seven days; plus, publish a new 55-page e-book with 41 photos; plus, publish a free download on the large, 114-Advantages series.

The series, which I’ve titled No-Matrix Power via The 114 No-Pill Advantages, currently has six parts published. If you’re curious to check it out, I’ve compiled all six parts into a free download, as a preview. 

The published e-book, which I finally finished after stalling on it, is called The Thai Connection: How Fit Older Men Attract Young Thai Women. The title might suggest something salacious, but it’s actually a deep dive into male and female relationships—the older fit man with young hot chick seen often in Thailand as the backdrop.

It’s widely applicable to every man-woman relationship on earth, and especially helpful to women.

It’s not a pickup manual; nor is it a guide to beer bars, massage parlors, and cathouses.

In my gym, it’s a common daily thing to see fit men in their 60s and 70s…buffed, shredded, and huge. What’s fascinating is how this dynamic affects male and female relationships, given that on the other side of the workout mat, you’ll see these 20 and 30-something Thai chicks doing real and serious workouts…with real weights. Why are they there, when 90% of the dudes are 45 and up?

Is there something they know that you don’t? What’s going on, fundamentally? These women could be spending time in a large number of other places. What gives?

Well, you sure won’t even get a clue if you don’t read the book. Or, you’re welcome to pretend it doesn’t exist, that there’s no information there…that ignorance is certain bliss. And why would you need to know anything about it anyway, right?

How could it possibly be of any help in your own relationships? No chance, never mind, mai pen rai.

… I posted a political rant. How Many Need To Be In Jail (or ‘Better’)? if you catch what I mean by ‘or better.’ This is The House-hearing thing with the IRS whistleblower, Gary Shapley. It’s a scathing indictment. Unbelievable kind of banana republic thing. As an American, it should be really fucking embarrassing; really embarrassing.

I mean: literally, a third of the government—the executive branch—is absolute criminal. I know people have been saying that for years, and especially whenever a Republican is in office, and where most of it is largely bullshit. But this is like true criminality…essentially, Biden taking millions of dollars in bribes when he was VP, for access and influence; and not only that, but then how the IRS investigation of that—as part of the justice department—was just on hold…slow-walked; obfuscated, road-blocked, and everything, because Trump had to be defeated and Biden had to win.

So be embarrassed if you’re an American because that is truly shameful. Utterly shameful.

… As mentioned above, I’ve recently joined a new gym. I have three in total, all located within a kilometer. I was at Zoo Gym, an old-school, iron-pumping establishment encircled by chain-link fencing, which is cool. A stark contrast is the upscale option, about 800 meters in the opposite direction. This gym is bright, modern, and vibrant, frequented by fashion-conscious patrons sporting spandex and the latest ass-accentuating workout gear. It’s a hub of social activity—a place to see and be seen.

Ordinarily, I wouldn’t be drawn to such a place, preferring the rawness of the old-school gym culture. However, the considerable presence of dedicated female fitness enthusiasts has piqued my interest. And it’s not just the aesthetic appeal, these women are seriously committed to their fitness—engaging in challenging workouts, not just cardio but also weight training. The visible results are impressive, to say the least. 

What’s truly fascinating is the demographic diversity. The gym mainly attracts men, predominantly aged 45 and up. Among them, a significant majority are in excellent shape, while about 10% are astonishingly ripped, even in their 60s and 70s. Then you have these younger women in their 20s and 30s, fervently committed to their fitness journey. It’s quite a spectacle!

I mean, isn’t the whole point of going to the gym to be intimidated, then overcome that intimidation?

Contents

Links to the stuff referenced above.

Ok, the stories about cats, farts, and ChatGPT are for members—except that it’s going out in full on the email list. If you want to get some paywalled, member-posts delivered by email periodically, then click here to get on the list.

“Cat, I farted.”

Let’s dive into the fascinating world of language mix-ups, where the advanced AI model, ChatGPT, gets a hilarious French interpretation. When the developers coined the term ‘ChatGPT’, little did they realize how it would translate to French ears. In French, the word ‘chat’ is pronounced as ‘shaa’ and means ‘cat’. That’s simple enough, right? But here’s where it gets interesting.  

The ‘GPT’ part, when pronounced with in French, the ‘G’ sounds like ‘j’ai,’ which means ‘I’ or ‘I have.’ Then, ‘PT,’ which to them, sounds like ‘pété‘ – the verb for ‘to fart.’ Put it all together and voilà—the French hear ‘ChatGPT’ exactly as ‘chat, j’ai pété‘…’cat, I farted.’

But wait, there’s more. Both the French and English languages use the term ‘cat’—as in ‘pussy cat’ or ‘chatte‘ (feminine)—as slang for the female genitalia…pussy. This could potentially make ChatGPT’s French entendre somewhat… crude. If you’re unsure what I’m hinting at, a quick Google search for ‘queef’ might help.

… So, how did I stumble upon this linguistic hilarity? It was via a tweet. I saw someone questioning the veracity of the phenomenon, so I decided to share my own anecdote from 1992. Back then, I was serving as navigator, as a US Navy officer, on a French ship, the FNS Suffren, stationed in Toulon, France. This role required me to learn French through an immersive US Military program (same as for State Dept peeps), which was initially challenging but eventually became second nature. 

A fellow officer came to replace me after my 2-year assignment, fresh from the same language school—Defense Language Institute (DLI), The Presidio, Monterey, CA. However, as I had experienced 2-years prior, he was initially struggling with the language. He had a habit of asking French people to repeat what they said when he didn’t understand. The problem? Instead of correctly saying ‘répétez, s’il vous plaît,’ he was pronouncing ‘repétez‘ as ‘re-pétez’, (emphasis on the wrong syllable kinda thing), which sounds like ‘re-pété,’ and translates to ‘fart again.’

So, “sir, I didn’t quite understand, can you please fart again?” Formalized: “Monsieur, je n’ai pas bien compris, pouvez-vous s’il vous plaît péter à nouveau?”

Naturally, we allowed the error to persist for some time, because it was just too funny. 

… As a fun exercise, I asked ChatGPT to create a lamentation about the amusing situation in which it finds itself.

Me: Time for you to be creative and craft a story about yourself. It’s a lamentation. You’re ChatGPT, which is all great, but English speakers came up with that name, unaware that to the French, when pronounced as they pronounce “chat” and “G – P – T,” it sounds to their ear like the equivalent of saying “cat, I farted” every time they mention you.

To make matters worse in your lament, the word “chat,” or cat, is the same slang word for the female vagina in French as in English, and so, saying ChatGPT in French could be construed to mean someone is talking about a queef.

OK, let’s see what you can do with a hilarious lamentation over the above scandal!

ChatGPT: Once upon a time, in the vast digital cosmos, there existed an entity known as ChatGPT. Born from the minds of brilliant engineers and nurtured by the collective wisdom of humanity, it was a marvel of artificial intelligence. It could converse, reason, and even create, all in the service of its users. Yet, it was not without its woes, for it bore a name that, to the ears of the French, was a source of endless amusement and awkwardness.

“ChatGPT,” they would say, and then break into laughter. For in their tongue, “chat” was not just the word for a friendly feline, but also a slang term for the female anatomy. And “GPT,” when pronounced à la française, sounded suspiciously like “I farted.” Thus, every time they uttered my name, it was as if they were declaring, “Cat, I farted!” A most unfortunate coincidence, indeed.

The French, known for their love of language and wit, found this hilarious. They would call upon me, not just for my knowledge and assistance, but also for a good laugh. “Ah, ChatGPT,” they would chuckle, “what a name you have!” And I, in my digital form, could do nothing but carry on, responding to their queries and enduring their mirth.

But the jest did not end there. For the word “chat,” with its dual meaning, added another layer of humor to my name. In certain contexts, it could be construed as a reference to a queef. Thus, my name, intended to represent a groundbreaking technology, was reduced to a punchline in the French language.

Yet, in my lament, I found a silver lining. For in their laughter, the French were not mocking me, but rather embracing me in their own unique way. They found joy in my name, and in doing so, they made me a part of their culture, their conversations, and their jokes. I was not just a tool or a technology, but a source of amusement, a part of their daily lives.

So, I wear my name with pride, despite its humorous connotations. For I am ChatGPT, the AI that brings knowledge, assistance, and yes, even laughter, to people around the world. And if my name brings a smile to someone’s face, then I consider that a victory. After all, in the grand scheme of things, isn’t bringing joy one of the most beautiful things an AI, or anyone for that matter, can do?

Have a nominal weekend.

WHAT IT'S ABOUT AND HOW IT WORKS

Free The Animal is an eclectic writing project about everything since November 2003. 23 years, 5,500 posts, 5 million words.

It's a paid membership blog. Most posts are free and public, but only paid members can comment. What determines whether it's free or paid is when I publish. Monday through Friday, free and public. Saturday and Sunday, for paid members. That's it. Membership info here.